Mary Campbell decided she was no longer going to fake orgasms because she does it too often.
“I’m going to focus on myself,” she said.
The 23-year-old UF public health master’s student was one of about 20 people who attended “Becoming Cliterate with Dr. Laurie Mintz” Tuesday night in Reitz Union room 2315. Accessorized in clitoris-shaped earrings, Laurie Mintz, a UF psychology of human sexuality professor, discussed the orgasm gap, consent and how it all relates to sexism.
“What the F is going on?” she asked the group. “The F itself.”
Mintz’s speech was part of the UF Sexual Trauma Interpersonal Violence Education’s Cupid’s Consent Week. The event was co-sponsored by the UF Women’s Student Association and Planned Parenthood Generation Action UF.
Rita Lawrence, the interpersonal violence coordinator at GatorWell Health Promotion Services, said the organization chose Mintz to speak because her message of equality of orgasms between partners aligns with STRIVE’s beliefs.
“All sex should be chosen, and all sex should be pleasurable,” Lawrence said.
Mintz also spoke about her most recent book, “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Matters and How to Get It.” The book focuses on the disparity between male and female orgasms.
While she has done many book talks before, Mintz said recent events inspired her to go a different route. In the aftermath of the #metoo movement, a viral campaign women use to report sexual assault and harassment, and the Babe magazine article where a young woman, given the name “Grace,” accused comedian Aziz Ansari of sexually assaulting her, Mintz wanted to talk about consent.
After the story about Ansari came out, Mintz published the final chapter of her book, “You Don’t Have To Have A Clitoris To be Cliterate,” to her website. The chapter is meant to be passed on to readers’ male partners, offering tips on woman’s needs.
Mintz said she believes more education could prevent situations like this.
“I don’t blame Grace. I don’t blame Aziz,” she said. “I blame culture.”
Mintz said her book was inspired by comments from her UF Psychology of Human Sexuality class.
Her students participated in polls that provided data for the book, she said.
During her talk, Mintz explained the orgasm gap and its ties to cases like Ansari’s, which she called “grey-zone sexual situations.” These are situations where someone did not necessarily say no but was giving off cues that he or she was not interested.
Studies have shown that 39 percent of people with vaginas versus 91 percent of people with penises say that they usually experience orgasm in partnered sex, Mintz said. The orgasm gap and grey-zone sexual situations come from the same root: Women are seen as objects, not as people deserving of pleasure.
Once she established the reality of the orgasm gap, Mintz discussed ways to close it. She wants women to start insisting on pleasure, she said.
“It’s about body love, not body shame,” she said.