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Friday, August 15, 2025

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Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Until next time: some words of farewell for seniors, students

Well, dear readers, the end is near. The end of the semester, that is. To those of you who are graduating, congratulations! I hope from the bottom of my heart that life treats you well and that you accomplish everything you hope to. To those of you who are not graduating, good luck on finals, and I’ll see you right back here on this page next year! For my last column of the year, I’d like to not focus on endings but, rather, beginnings.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  EDITORIALS

Darts & Laurels: December 2, 2016

You’re sitting in the doctor’s office, waiting with anticipation for Dr. Pepper to come in to treat you. After what feels like an eternity, he finally knocks on the door and lets himself in. “So, you’ve been cut in half. Vertically. How you were even able to do anything apart from bleed out on the floor, let alone get up, schedule a doctor’s appointment and attend this appointment, is nothing short of a miracle. Frankly, everything I know about medicine has been undermined by your survival.” You stare blankly at him, then despite your larynx literally being severed in half, manage to shout out “God damn it Doc, speak English! How much time do I have left to live?” Shocked you’re even able to reply, he stutters, “A few minutes, I think? Once again, you’ve literally been split down the middle.” “Oh thank God,” you mutter, spitting blood everywhere. “Just enough time to read the only thing worth living for,


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