OPINION
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COLUMNS
Lost in the sauce: One last call for a swig of surrealism
By BILL O'CONNOR< | Aug. 1, 2011"Mike, join me in a pint of Guinness."
COVID-19
OPINION
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COLUMNS
When businesses suck, let them know
By Shea Ford | Aug. 1, 2011A few days ago, I went to a McDonald's. My girlfriend and I ordered two sandwiches. The women at the window seemed, shall we say, less than thrilled to be working there.
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Game of drones
By The Alligator Editorial Board | Aug. 1, 2011"The only thing dumber than a Republican or Democrat is when these pricks work together," Lewis Black once rambled in one of his acerbic comedic whippings of American society. He said, "We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas. And the way it works is the Republican stands up in Congress and goes, ‘I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!' and the Democrat says, ‘AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!'"
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Why should we have all the fun? Let's open it up
By The Alligator Editorial Board | Aug. 1, 2011We're going to try something different Thursday.
SPORTS
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COLUMNS
The Challenge: Where sports and entertainment meet for a marvelous orgy
By JESSE SIMONTON | July 28, 2011MTV’s “The Challenge: Rivals” is the best damn show on TV not starring Larry David.
NEWS
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FEATURES
New GRE presents new questions, more hurdles
By Lisa Gallo | July 27, 2011The race is over.
METRO
After dodging death, rape victim looks for answers
By Erin Jester | July 27, 2011A woman who was raped and beaten is trying to get the word out about her attacker.
NEWS
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FEATURES
Dept. of Health issues sudden suspensions
By Gabriela Rosias | July 27, 2011The Florida Department of Health announced Tuesday the Emergency Suspension Orders of 14 medical practitioners and one pharmacy. One of the suspensions was handed down to local certified nursing assistant Melinda Lawanna Bryant.
NEWS
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CAMPUS
UF hoping to bring ridiculously fast Internet to campus
By Benjamin S. Brasch | July 27, 2011UF is teaming up with 29 universities to obtain an Internet service that is so fast, one could download 200 iTunes songs in eight seconds.
NEWS
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CAMPUS STUDENT GOVERNMENT
Despite objections, SG passes rules reform
By Alexander Klausner | July 27, 2011The UF Student Senate held its first-ever Senate Outreach Day on Tuesday, and the students who stayed for the three-and-a-half-hour meeting were treated to quite a show.
SPORTS
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RECRUITING
UF’s showcase fails to wow recruits
July 27, 2011Friday Night Lights is marketed as one of the nation’s grandest showcases for top-tier high school football players.
NEWS
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CAMPUS STUDENT LIFE
SG holds town hall forum to connect with UF community
By Jasmine Earls | July 27, 2011SG representatives, along with the dean of students, had a chance to speak to roughly 70 students about SG's role in campus community.
SPORTS
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FOOTBALL
Demps announces intention to return
By MATT WATTS | July 27, 2011The university announced Tuesday that running back Jeff Demps will return to the football team this fall.
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Don't pass GOP, don't collect compromise
July 27, 2011The news these past couple of days has been an embarrassment to American politics.
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Thank God for this guy
By The Alligator Editorial Board | July 27, 2011With all the utter stupidity and assclown-ity that has been allowed to run rampant in this town and university, let alone this country, it's incredibly easy to become jaded toward the Big Guy Upstairs. He's probably not that enthused either when he has to explain to other celestial beings that yes - He has to take credit for all his children, including the deadbeat ones who use emoticons in their everyday speech, wear Ed Hardy and actually think George Lopez is funny.
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Landlords should be aware of students' needs
By The Alligator Editorial Board | July 27, 2011In the next few days, a good number of you will be fully immersed in one of the greatest pains in the backside known to man as you fire up your U-Hauls, break out the boxes and load up your arms with as much stuff as possible as you bid your apartments/houses/glorified shitholes farewell.
THE AVENUE
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LIFESTYLE
Despite evolving lineup, Warped Tour still a worthwhile day
By THOMAS NASSIFF< | July 27, 2011Everyone complains about Warped Tour.
THE AVENUE
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LIFESTYLE
Planning for Broward Pool begins
By Webb | July 27, 2011Broward Beach may finally start living up to its name.
THE AVENUE
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LIFESTYLE
Amazon starts eBook rentals
By Amy Stuart | July 27, 2011Nandy Ferguson sees the eventual decline of print textbooks in the future. With new trends in reading options, students are more likely to switch to technologically savvy eReaders.
