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Friday, June 21, 2024

Opinion | Columns

Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

'ShamWow' guy should help at G20

The people who have to clean up our worldwide financial mess are meeting in London this week to talk. The G20 summit brings together bankers and leaders from across the globe, and this year they need to piece together what is left of the world economy. Most expect President Obama to do a lot of listening and apologizing.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Pros of legal weed need consideration

Stoners everywhere have been getting mixed signals lately thanks to the Obama administration's stance on legalizing marijuana. Last week, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton visited Mexico for her first diplomatic tour of the country that has been rocked by more than 7,300 deaths in the Mexican government's war on drugs. Clinton alluded to a change in U.S. drug policy after conceding that America's voracious appetite for drugs only fuels the problem.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Morning–after kit cures walk of shame

It's 9:17 a.m. He's still asleep, of course. You're wearing his clothes, but there's no way you're going to wear them home. And your only other option is a little red dress and leopard stilettos. But with a 10:40 a.m. class and a desperately needed shower, you swallow your pride and brave the streets.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

UF needs to fix scholarship practices

People have spent the past few days filling this paper with complaints about the budget cuts. Admittedly, the cuts are controversial and probably imperfect, but you have to make sacrifices when there's no money available. For those of us who are already here, there's not much to do other than accept it.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

"Terrible tyrant" packs powerful punch

This week Parade Magazine, that renowned paragon of investigative journalism, published a list of the top 10 "terrible tyrants" next to a full-page color ad for those mysterious Amish fireplaces.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

U.S. needs to focus on solving problems

Ever since the end of the Cold War, political and historical experts alike have predicted a decline in American hegemonic status. Some of the nuttier experts, such as Russian scholar Igor Panarin, have even predicted a complete collapse of our union into four different republics. Longhorn fans will be pleased to know that Panarin predicts the Republic of Texas will be the biggest of the four new countries, incorporating even Florida.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Locals should vote to protect citizen rights

I received a bit of a gift in one of my classes last week, and I've been thanking the gods of absurdity ever since. On Monday, I had the pleasure of watching a debate on the proposed Charter Amendment 1. It was a slaughter and roused my latent political conscience.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

America must shed two–party politics

I have a strong stomach. Only a handful of things consistently turn my stomach contents into a downtown sidewalk display: catching a ride post- or mid-drinkathon, all songs Nickelback and when, like, people, like, say "like" all the time. Other than those three things, I rarely get to taste my stomach acid.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Downturn extends beyond AIG, Madoff

As Americans fumble around in the dark in an attempt to make sense of the economic mess we've found ourselves in, the country is searching for culprits so we can put our minds at ease. Those currently in the spotlight are none other than Ponzi schemer extraordinaire Bernard Lawrence Madoff and "those guys" over at AIG.


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