The saying goes, "you are what you eat." Well if that's the case, everyone should be having an identity crisis.
Shakespeare once wrote, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Truly it is the substance of the rose - not the name given - that makes it the beautiful flower it is. But what if we took the opposite approach? Would calling a dandelion a rose make it smell sweet? Of course not. There is much in a name.
On Friday, Florida4Marriage.org submitted the last few thousand signatures required to get a proposed state amendment banning gay marriage on the November ballot.
U.S. Attorney General Michael Mukasey still isn't sure if the interrogation practice known as waterboarding - where an individual is strapped down with a rag placed over the nose and mouth while water is poured over the rag to simulate drowning - constitutes torture. That is, unless he were to be subjected to it.
Imagine that one day you are strolling toward University Avenue, about to grab a bite to eat before your 1:55 class, when it hits you: that first paper is due in an hour.
Journalism isn't a real major. You're too quiet. I worry that you'll never get married. Women can't be engineers. Is that a weave you have on? Iron my shirt. Pot-smoking hippy. Fags have AIDS.
It is only days away.
I grew up wandering around the neighborhood with a notebook and a pencil in my hand. You couldn't tell the color of my grandma's refrigerator without lifting up a copy of something I wrote. I was writing complete stories before I knew what a division sign looked like.
We are now almost a month into 2008, but I can't shake the feeling that we're stuck in 1984. Big Brother is watching us, listening to us and invading our personal privacy at an unprecedented and alarming rate-all in the name of national security.
Since Florida won't receive any delegates at the National Democratic Convention in August, some people have tried to claim Tuesday's election won't matter.
Tuesday's Republican primary captured Florida's importance in deciding the next U.S. president. The Republican candidates all offered different ideas to lead the party and the nation into the 21st century.
God bless the Alligator's Editorial Board.
Last week, the Alligator didn't publish on Monday, but I wrote a column anyway.
I spent this past weekend in Las Vegas with my mom and a friend celebrating my 21st birthday. My social status as a young female has never proved so beneficial. I skipped hour-long lines, scooted my way into VIP areas and received free lap dances from Australian male strippers (no, seriously).
I might vomit if I see another popup window advertising links to images of Britney Spears' crotch. Unless that thing is housing a population about to vote in a presidential primary, I don't think it is important.
"Taxes are the price we pay for civilization." That's what my macroeconomics professor would always say. As profound as it is obvious, this maxim relates a timeless, commonsense principle. But I must admit, it's a principle that I hadn't really thought about in great detail until hearing it in class.
Having a rough day? Well, look on the bright side: At least you didn't find out that your new wife or husband is your twin, thus making your romance about as incestuous as is incestuously possible. Say that three times fast. I know that's ridiculous, but it also happens to be horrifyingly based on fact.
Do you ever reach a point in life you when you just know things have changed? Like one day, all of a sudden, you realize you're an adult? It's not like you start misplacing your keys or using phrases like "cool beans." It's this creepy onset of maturity that just smacks you in the soul. Age has overcome me. But I should be ready by now. I've been given almost 21 years to prepare.
Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
As we venture into 2008, the déjà vu is becoming a bit ridiculous. Or perhaps what is really ridiculous is the reality that many citizens seem blissfully oblivious or inexplicably unconcerned about how the events of recent memory have paralleled almost perfectly with some from the past.
Solutions by The State News
