I know some harbinger of doom says this every single year, but I really do believe Americans will have to have a ‘come-to-Jesus’ moment with their technology pretty soon.
Maybe we will need public service announcements of some kind, or maybe some sort of visual reminder. I’m thinking of one of those little rubber bracelets that usually say “LIVESTRONG” or “WWJD” but instead one side says, “Is this a good idea?”, and then when you flip it over the other side reads, “No, probably not.”
What I’m trying to say is Google Glass is dumb. There. I said it. Woo, that’s such a weight off my shoulders. Deep breaths, Flannery, deep breaths.
The idea of Google Glass itself is dumb. A hands-free device that can take and share point-of-view pictures and photos or that can use Google or Google Maps without you pressing buttons? Absolutely brilliant.
I am sure everyone at some point has thought, “Man, if only [person] could see what I am seeing right now.” Now to say we have the tech to do just that is a little mind-blowing.
But like every other brilliantly innovative piece of technology that sounds terrific in theory, its real-world use will probably just disgrace its originally intended one.
When Google itself was invented, I bet the programmers dreamed of a virtual space where knowledge and experience could be freely traded across people and cultures, instead of a gateway platform for people with large amounts of free time to search for porn and videos of cats doing funny things.
Was that example blown a little out of proportion? Yes, but I was trying to make a point.
We vastly underuse the technological resources given to us. I’m not necessarily saying that is a bad thing, but believe me, a few years from now when I see someone walking around wearing Google Glass, I won’t think, “Man, that person must be a highly-sophisticated multi-tasking individual.” I will think, “That person is probably watching porn or cat videos right now. And just stepped out in front of a bus.”
The promotional videos Google has pushed out to promote Glass have all featured “regular” people using Glass as they all do wildly adventurous things like skydiving or taking trips in hot air balloons, which makes sense.
Wouldn’t it be incredible to see a gymnast’s routine through her eyes or to see the New Year’s ball drop from the perspective of someone in Times Square?
More likely, the techy-type people who are willing to fork over $1,500 for a “still-in-market-testing” product are probably not the people doing the skydiving or hot air balloon trips.
Google is desperately trying to appeal to the everyday consumer, and in its haste to launch a product, I think it forgot the everyday consumer lives a pretty boring life.
Looking over the promotional material and blog post hype, I thought about what I would use Glass for.
I came to the conclusion that I would use it to record and share local concerts with my friends and to look up pictures of baby hedgehogs. Which isn’t all bad — who couldn’t use more hedgehogs in life? — but I still don’t think that would justify me dropping a grand and a half on it.
When advertisements for the next shiny thing come along, always feel free to stop and ask yourself the hard-hitting question, “Is that really the best use of my money and free time?”
Be honest with yourself because the more sophisticated the technology, the more it tends to make fools of us all.
I’m sure everyone thought when they got a Twitter, they would share their vast amounts of witty quips and wisdoms with the world instead of complaining about their jobs and taking duck-face pictures.
Lauren Flannery is a business administration sophomore at UF. Her column runs on Tuesdays. You can contact her via opinions@alligator.org.
