Satchel?s Pizza is too damn far away. It?s so distant I?ve run up a string of excuses why I haven?t been lately: "My car won?t start." "My scooter died last week." "My bike tire?s flat." "My shoes have holes." I shouldn?t have to make such claims, but it?s impossible to drive sixteen miles round-trip as often as I?d like. As sacrilegious as it may be, many people think Satchel?s needs a new location.
If you haven?t heard about it, Satchel?s is considered Gainesville?s pride and joy. If I made a list of the top five restaurants in Gainesville, I would immediately place Satchel?s at the top. My love affair began two years ago during my first week on campus. I?d grown up pining for the stereotypical college hangout as portrayed in sitcoms: a pizza joint seasoned with eccentric decorations and surly wait staff. It was more than a simple quest for hunger that would drive me to Satchel?s - it was an inevitable adventure.
I?d heard of such a legendary parlor right here in Gainesville, where one could even have a good time while waiting for a table. "Quintessentially college" was the description I?d heard, and my young heart couldn?t be delayed any longer. I wasn?t sure where it was - it seemed like I walked the entire city without spotting it - but reliable sources furthered my assumption that this mythical place would lie at the end of a rainbow.
I seriously questioned whether it was a farce, whether upperclassmen met at one point to discuss plans ensuring freshmen would never find their way back to the university. Those catchy bumper stickers could have even been part of a larger plot, but I refused to believe.
When we old-timers started navigating for ourselves, we didn?t use Google Maps yet - the general consensus was MapQuest could find any place with an address. In reality, MapQuest?s directions rarely put you anywhere near your preferred destination. I must have ended up somewhere near Micanopy, disillusioned, hungry and unforgiving of that horrendous Web site.
I certainly had a "So that?s where it is," moment when I spotted the place at a later date. I knew I?d never forget the location, but the problem isn?t remembering how to get there - it?s actually having the time to drive out, wait on food and drive home. As course loads intensify, the probability of eating out diminishes greatly.
Satchel?s runs a good operation. They?ve got a good business model because they are the little guy. Maybe it would ruin business to open up a new store. Maybe it would feel too corporate. If Satchel?s were to compete with the restaurants on Archer Road, the restaurant?s proximity would no longer be an issue, and its superior value and taste would likely take care of competition.
Even so, could Satchel?s recreate the famous atmosphere with less land and more congestion? Would Lightnin? Salvage, the well-known junk shop behind Satchel?s, come along for the ride? There?s also the problem of cannibalization: Would business at a new location take away too many customers from the original?
It would be nearly impossible to replace the mystique of the old location. You have to decide whether the frustration it takes to actually get to Satchel?s adds to or detracts from its legend. Satchel?s has been doing it right for years, so there?s no reason for it to expand. It may be in East Gainesville, but half the fun is in the journey.
Kyle Cox is a junior majoring in marketing and anthropology. His column appears on Tuesdays.
