How I wish I cared about the supposed rivalry between UF and Georgia.
Don?t get me wrong - the whole concept is very cool. I witnessed the game last year in the stands, and I strongly encourage any college football aficionado to attend the matchup at least once.
A neutral stadium split evenly is an incredibly unique experience, and the World?s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party makes for hysterical drunk-people watching.
But the Gators have been dominating the Bulldogs in Jacksonville since before I even knew what a football looked like.
Since I?m banking on UF notching another victory this week, I decided it would be a lot more fun to examine other possible rivalries between the two states that are bound to be more intense than the game.
Rivalry One œ Animal Animosity: A live Gator vs. a live Bulldog
At first glance, this may seem like a no-brainer, but it?s actually closer than you may think. In the Middle Ages, bulldogs used to take part in bull-baiting: dogs would battle bulls, aiming to bite their noses to take down the large beasts. That?s pretty hardcore for a small dog, but alligators can handle themselves, too. They?ve been known to take down razorbacks, panthers and bears. Gators can live for 50 years or more, while bulldogs are known to have health problems and generally live 8 to 10 years.
EDGE: Gator
Rivalry Two œ Rapper Rivalry: Outkast vs. Vanilla Ice
Both Andre 3000 and Big Boi hail from Georgia, but the Sunshine State claims Vanilla Ice, who was born in Miami. Even though BIce Ice BabyC was in fact nominated for a Grammy in the category of Best Rap Performance - I wish I were making this up - Outkast has actually won five Grammys. I?m sorry, but the genius of BI?m cooking MCs like a pound of baconC simply does not trump Bshake it like a Polaroid picture.C
EDGE: Outkast
Rivalry Three œ Theme Park Playoff: Disney vs. Six Flags
Mickey and Co. or Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes. Sure, the mouse lives in the happiest place on Earth, but Disney?s rides are a little tame compared to Six Flags. Georgia?s park boasts Acrophobia, the world?s first BfloorlessC freefall tower ride, and Goliath, the longest coaster in the Southeast. Still, any park featuring Johnny Depp as a sexy pirate has got to count for something.
EDGE: Disney
Rivalry Four œ Founders Feud: James Oglethorpe vs. Juan Ponce De Leon
Sometimes, you must go to the beginning in order to understand rivalries. Oglethorpe (1696-1785) killed a man in a brawl, spent five months in prison and then founded Georgia. Juan Ponce De Leon (1458-1521) was a noble explorer - anyone with four names has to stand for something - and will always live on in legends for his quest to find the Fountain of Youth.
EDGE: Ponce
Rivalry Five œ Song Showdown: BGeorgia on My MindC versus BMargaritavilleC
I could have gone with official state songs, but BThe Swanee River (Old Folks at Home)C is pretty lame and doesn?t stand a chance to Ray Charles? classic. Luckily, I had the musical stylings of Jimmy Buffet as a suitable substitute. On the one hand, you?ve got an incredibly moving soul masterpiece that once acted as a symbol of reconciliation after conflict over civil rights. On the other hand, you?ve got the anthem of every drunken beach bum who ever stepped foot in the Keys.
EDGE: Tie
