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Wednesday, April 17, 2024

In response to Friday's column by Colleen Shea, "Everything causes cancer - we get it," I'm relieved I'm not the only one who is concerned that the number of "scientific" studies, which seemingly help society, are rising. I can't think of a single thing these "scientists" have unveiled that wasn't inconvenient.

First, we find out cigarettes can cause emphysema, then that alcohol can lead to liver cirrhosis - now this? A chemical in certain air fresheners can cause birth defects and cancer? Those "scientists" must have gotten their master's degrees in party pooping. I urge all students to take action. Let's find the original article reporting about this study, and with it we can eventually find the addresses of these "scientists" and find out why they're such buzz kills.

Don't they realize the consequences of their discoveries? The world will not be the same, without Ms. Shea drinking to the point of blacking out or allowing her room to reek as badly as it would without a large volume of air freshener.

Lucky for us, Ms. Shea's article brought this issue to our attention: The problem here is not hazardous chemicals in everyday items, but the scientists who discover them - without whom we'd be blissfully content, albeit cancerous.

For all of you future scientists here at UF, do the world a favor: drop out now. There's only one thing worse than scientists who benefit society - journalism sophomores who write superfluous articles.

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