Let's talk about virginity.
Friday on this page, columnist Colleen Shea wrote about how virgins are out of place in the hookup culture that is college.
I couldn't disagree more. I dare to say that virginity is what college is all about. If anything, it defines my experience. Allow me to elaborate.
But first, a warning: this column has nothing to do with sex.
College is the one time in my life that I'm allowed to put off making real decisions about the future.
To say it another way, I'm saving myself for true love.
In the meantime I study only enough to get by, I wake up whenever I want and I don't pay any bills. I live within walking distance of campus, yet I still drive my car. Laundry is my only enemy.
I don't have any responsibilities other than myself - which is hardly a responsibility.
But unfortunately, from what I've heard, the "real world" is a slightly different affair.
As someone once told me, "College is a four-year hiatus from civilization."
Essentially, I am a virgin to adulthood, to maturity. I have yet to "lose it" to the great abyss oft-referred to as the rest of my life.
But perhaps adulthood isn't all it's hyped up to be (unlike sex … I hope).
When I look at my parents after collecting my humble monthly allowance, as I'm driving away in the second car they've bought me (which is incidentally worth more than at least one of my professor's cars), I can't help but think they gave "it" up too easily.
Didn't they have any respect for themselves? What about self-control? I don't know what to think.
Now you might say that these four formidable years are actually the first time I have an opportunity to lose my virginity, in terms of real-world experience.
I am living on my own, after all, and this is college, home of the not-so-virgin mind.
But when it comes to working - like for money - I signed an abstinence pledge. I did have two part-time jobs, but those were just foreplay - clumsy foreplay, if I may say so.
When I look at politics or activism on campus, I flirted with a few causes here and there. I even hooked up with a few of them, but it wasn't anything serious. It's so hard to maintain a serious relationship in college.
Intellectually speaking, I might have been deflowered by the writing of such-and-such author or philosopher, but I still have no idea what they were talking about.
In academic thought, like sex, experience is necessary, but not sufficient for mastery. A bachelor's degree conveys little authority anymore.
But it looks like staying in school is the only way to keep my innocence and purity intact.
I've always wanted to go to law school, but that only lasts three years. What would I do afterward?
I can't just go work in some firm somewhere, never having seen what other big, strong firms may have to offer. What if I don't like it?
I won't be able to just up and leave. I'll be committed. I'll have little cases running around, cases I have to look after.
If I wait that long to lose it, it'll be too late.
I've got to be assertive and put myself out there now. I've got to see what this whole adulthood thing is really about. I've got to play the field before I sign up with a team, so to speak. I've got to live a little before I settle down.
I'm still worried about my first time, for sure, but my virginity can't last forever.
Sooner or later everyone has to grow up.
Vincent Massaro is a senior majoring in journalism. His column appears on Mondays.
