Christmas music is already playing on the radio, red and green decorations are infiltrating stores in the Oaks Mall and white, plastic reindeer are grazing on the lawn of the V.A. Medical Center on Archer Road.
I'd like to hit life's pause button and point out to everyone that Christmas is still more than a month away. Meanwhile, Thanksgiving is Thursday.
You know, the holiday that is supposed to remind us of the things we should be grateful for.
So here's my spin on what some members of the Gator Nation (and a select few from elsewhere) will be reading off their "Things I Am Thankful For" list at the dinner table.
UF coach Urban Meyer: I am thankful that the crazy Taser kid is no longer in the news. The name "Meyer" should be associated with nothing but excellence.
UF safety Tony Joiner: I am thankful that for as long as I live, Gainesville towing companies will steer clear of my car.
Superman: I am thankful that Pam and Bob Tebow procreated because their son's existence has taken a lot of the pressure off me.
Tim Tebow: I am thankful that I will be heading to New York in December to live out my lifelong dream. Forget the Heisman - I want to play "Chopsticks" on a step-touch keyboard in FAO Schwarz.
UF safety Major Wright: I am thankful that I am free of that taped-up boxing glove - a clubbed hand is no way to attract the ladies.
UF wide receiver David Nelson: I am thankful that there's a possibility the Gators will be playing in the Capital One Bowl. I hear Tiger Woods has a house in Orlando, so maybe my deceiving looks will get me into the VIP section of Club Paris.
UF tight end Tate Casey: I am thankful football season is almost over. I'm starting to develop carpal tunnel syndrome from tying half the team's neckties every game day.
Florida State football coach Bobby Bowden: I am thankful my senility will prevent me from realizing that the Seminoles are being blown out Saturday, yet again.
UF twin linemen Mike and Maurkice Pouncey: We're thankful that for one day out of the year, there's enough food on the table to feed us both, so we don't have to elbow-smash each other for the last turkey leg.
And now, in the true spirit of Thanksgiving, a sincere message of gratitude…
The entire Gators football team: We're thankful to have Percy Harvin back.
