I have discouraging news.
Working out an hour a day for the next two weeks will not drastically change your body before Spring Break. For some reason or another, the concept of adopting pre-break workout regiments has become a popular notion on our campus. A lot of people have this idea that they can head to the gym today, for the first time in a few months, and their beer bellies will just evaporate into the dense Florida air.
At this time of the year, the gyms usually begin to crowd with ambitious students who are all of a sudden determined to whip their bodies into shape.
In fact, our collegiate gyms have even implemented a new set of group exercise classes to be enjoyed for the next two weeks. There's Tropical Total Body, Beach Bootcamp, Cancun Kickbox and a few other newly scheduled opportunities to "shape up" before the big bikini fest.
This, of course, only adds to the chaos of campus workouts. You can't get into cycling classes without lining up 45 minutes in advance. And you can't use the squat machine without swapping repetitions with two other people.
I call this overcrowded gym phenomenon March Madness. Oh, wait, that's already taken. I call it the pre-vacation Gator Nation. Two weeks prior to Spring Break, our motto changes slightly: The University of Florida is in Gainesville. The Gator Nation is on the elliptical.
If your newfound love of the treadmill stems from how great you feel after your workout, then tread on, my friend. But don't kill yourself at Southwest Recreation Center every evening expecting your body to transform like a before-and-after ad for Hydroxycut. And definitely do not stop eating. This seems to be a late February trend as well.
Sure, we all want to look like pre-baby bump Jessica Alba when we slip into our suits. But in reality, it's unfortunately not going to happen, at least not before March 8. I'm certain Jessica didn't wait until 14 days before the filming of "Into The Blue" to work on those toned arms and rock-hard abs. And she most certainly consumes food like any other healthy human.
For the record, yes, I have a fem-crush on her. I'd love to hang out poolside with her. She's flawless. Her body is absolutely Cancun ready.
This brings me to my next concern. The pre-vacation Gator Nation is made up of the very same guys and gals who are at the Swamp Restaurant every night drinking pitcher after pitcher of Budweiser. If you want to get in shape, you may have to change more than the resistance on the StairMaster.
We have to be cautious of what goes into our bodies as well. I am aware that many college students' daily diet consists of caramel lattes, bowls of ramen noodles and a six-pack of Bud Light. And I also know that socializing at the bar is a top priority in many peoples' lives - which is fine.
But for the record, a large amount of what you are consuming late at night completely reverses any positive effects your workout may have had on your figure.
So if you want to devote yourself to a diet and exercise routine, that's great. But it needs to be an almost comprehensive lifestyle change. And remember that while many times results cannot be seen in 14 days, they can be felt almost immediately. And this should be more inspiration than an upcoming Mexican cruise anyway.
So dig those Nike sneakers out of the back of your dusty closet and join a few thousand of your closest friends at the Rec Center for that Cancun Kickbox class tonight.
But only exercise if you are doing it to feel healthier and happier, and not to drop 10 pounds before March 8. Because folks, it's about as likely as Jessica Alba flopping down on the pool lounge chair next to me for a chat.
Carly Hallam is an advertising senior. Her column appears on Fridays.
