Like every semester over the last couple of years, I have many friends graduating this term.
Some still aren't sure if they're leaving Gainesville, many don't have jobs lined up and most are both scared and clueless about entering the "real world."
I don't blame them. The only thing worse than swimming in the college dating (read: hookup) pool is having to leave it and its understood college-town codes, rules and procedures.
But when better to break your patterns and reinvigorate your dating karma than when you're leaving Titletown's bubble (if only for a summer hiatus)?
Here's my advice:
Date outside your comfort zone.
If love has been lacking luster for you, perhaps you're simply choosing the wrong people. This seems so "duh" but truth is, most of us have types. We tend to, often unconsciously, rigidly adhere to certain sorts of souls. Try branching out.
Accept the invite from the guy or gal who is totally not your "type." You may end up surprised - I can personally vouch for this one working.
Accept others faults.
Don't ever lower you standards, but acknowledge that you are oh-so-far from flawless. How can you expect such perfection from your partner? The most important thing that I have learned in a relationship is to choose your battles. Singles and those dating should do the same. Consider letting insignificant blemishes and faults go.
Don't think you can "fix" people.
Accepting others also means realizing that you can't ever change a person's true nature. People are who they are, and while you should get over the fact that your beloved occasionally smacks when they eat, you should not be so forgiving of something as major as someone who has no desire to do something with their life. You won't be able to break him or her of this, and having a real relationship means accepting the realities of this world.
As scary as it may seem to think so far into the future, would you really want to have children with someone who is a total deadbeat?
Be yourself from day one.
Impressing a date will only get you another one; it won't guarantee a lifetime of happiness. The thing is, you're going to have to deal with this person at their best and worst; knowing a person's real character is the only true way to ensure a lasting relationship.
Grow up.
Would you ever be able to get or hold a job if you behaved recklessly, never returned phone calls and were entirely standoffish to your fellow employees or boss?
Of course not. View dating with the same common sense. Don't suck up or become too stifling, but realize that irresponsibility and inconsideration are childish traits that block real relationships from flourishing. Don't wake up as Scott Baio, which is ultimately lonely. Don't wait until you are 45 to get a show on VH1 and hire a life coach just to learn to take this whole dating/relationship stuff seriously. We all eventually have to grow up; why not start now?
