Who doesn't like a Southern gentleman?
We here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column would certainly like to think that we have the class of those down-to-earth Southerners.
But apparently, Mississippi - yes, Mississippi - has lost its roots. In 2003, Chancellor Robert Khayat and Rebels athletic director Pete Boone decided to replace the team's mascot, the elder white-bearded Colonel Reb, with a more muscular, athletic looking talisman.
So we decided to call up Brian Ferguson, the chairman of the Colonel Reb Foundation, who is trying to get the Colonel Reb mascot that most in the Magnolia State have come to love back in Oxford.
Ferguson's cause led the Foundation all over the place - from CNN (yes, people in Mississippi get that channel) to ESPN to the New York Times - and that's where people heard what they had to say.
Good luck, fellas.
"They said because he was unathletic looking and it didn't represent what the university was aiming at," Ferguson said. "They said it also hurt recruiting."
Saying an old man isn't athletic? Sounds like age discrimination to us.
Now cover your eyes for a second, Gators fans, because here's what Ferguson had to say about why having a macho mascot is not necessary.
"Look at the University of Florida, you've got Alberta the Alligator roaming the sidelines - a female alligator with a bow in her hair," Ferguson said.
Now, before you jump on our guest's back, this ought to make you feel better.
"You've got a big nut that's roaming the sidelines at Ohio State," he said.
Better?
As Ferguson says, you're not going to find any high school athlete who has loved bulldogs all his life, and then choose the Bulldogs because of it.
We're dog lovers here, but we're not about to give Uga extra pats either.
"You've got all these programs that might not be so called 'athletic' (because of their mascots)," Ferguson said. "That just doesn't happen. It's just a cop out (by the administration,)."
Are there even any alligators here anymore? We're not sure.
Ferguson said their Colonel Reb is still allowed to attend games, but he's not allowed on the sidelines. But maybe if they sell enough of those Colonel Reb bumper stickers they're marketing, the Colonel will get back out there.
And it doesn't hurt that new coach Houston Nutt is a supporter of the mascot.
"With coach Nutt's approval, I don't see a reason why it shouldn't happen," Ferguson said. "When you hear Houston Nutt say that, it just adds to the emphasis that we've been correct the entire time. There is nothing wrong with the mascot."
Heck, they even came up with their own term for this. Get ready for it: "ColonelGate."
Believe it.
"It's just kind of a funny phrase that we came up with," Ferguson said. "We obviously got it from Watergate. The fact is that it was just behind the scenes or no thought at all put into removing the Colonel."
We've seen it all.
With that said, on to the picks!
In first place with a 22-8 record is Assistant Sports Editor Evan "why shouldn't a Jewish dude root for Texas Christian Univesity" Drexler, who spent seven hours in a car reading a book on how to pick up girls.
In second place with a 20-10 record is Phil "Tennessee's football stadium sucks compared to its women's basketball shrine" Kegler, who doesn't read his insults, giving us freedom to write whatever we want about him without consequence. He is a poop-eater.
In third with a 19-11 record is Sports Editor Brian "With snoring this loud, it's no wonder I'm single" Steele, whose nighttime nasal noises are louder than a packed Neyland Stadium …whatever that sounds like. At least his voice isn't really high-pitc …oh, right.
In fourth place with an 18-12 record is Karl "If they don't bring me Major Wright I'm going to hurt someone" Hyppolite, who suffered all week writing his feature story despite only talking to Wright once. With those kinds of empty threats, he's sounding more and more like a professional journalist every day.
In dead-ass last place with a piss-poor 17-13 record is East Carolina homer Mike "Now I'm done" McCall, whose heart goes aflutter when the enchanting Brady Quinn commercial for EAS comes on the television. His man-crush would be cute if it wasn't so disgusting. Jeez, McCall, get a room.
| ED | KH | PK | MM | BS | MMH | |
| UNC-Mia | Mia | Mia | Mia | UNC | Mia | Mia |
| Tex-Ark | Tex | Tex | Tex | Tex | Tex | Tex |
| Wisc-Mich | Wisc | Wisc | Wisc | Wisc | Wisc | Wisc |
| Aub-Tenn | Aub | Aub | Aub | Aub | Aub | Aub |
| TCU-Okla | Okla | Okla | Okla | Okla | Okla | Okla |
| Bama-UGA | Bama | Bama | UGA | UGA | UGA | UGA |
| Ill-PSU | PSU | PSU | PSU | PSU | Ill | PSU |
| Pur-ND | Pur | Pur | ND | Pur | ND | Pur |
| Col-FSU | FSU | Col | FSU | Col | FSU | FSU |
UF-UM ED: UF 28-17; KH: UF 33-16; PK: UF 31-10; MM: UF 34-13 ; BS: UF 31-20; HP: UF 34-20
