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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Let's face it: we've all been there.

We've all had to deal with the times when the phone just doesn't ring. When the words just don't make sense. And when trying to figure out what he or she meant doesn't seem to get you anywhere.

And sadly, instead of simply accepting rejection, we over analyze and question every detail of every word and every action only to make excuses for behavior that could easily be summed up in six little words.

He's just not that into you.

This novel idea was first introduced to the world in 2003 on "Sex and the City." The idea is simple - instead of wasting your time clinging onto a dysfunctional relationship, it might just be easier to accept the fact that he or she's just not that into you and then move on to find the one that is.

On Friday, the movie based on the book, "He's Just Not That Into You", will hit theaters, promising to reel in thousands of females ready to laugh and cry as they relate to the on-screen examination women conduct during a relationship.

But the movie isn't just for women. In fact, on the movie's Web site, three male cast members have a video explaining why it's far from a chick flick.

And the truth is, neither the book or the movie is just for women. No matter how hard you men try to cover up the fact that you ponder over what to do or what to say next, we all know you do.

Sure, we women over analyze relationships almost more than we complain about being fat. But the fact of the matter is that everybody is guilty of it. Everybody wonders, everybody questions and everybody makes excuses.

We've all checked our text inbox, our voice mail and Facebook to see if that certain someone's online and have wondered why they've yet to contact us. We've all even tried to justify rejection by saying that he probably just forgot or she left her phone in the car.

So, while I'd like to use this column to preach to you about how this over analyzing needs to stop and how you deserve better, I'm not that naive. I know there is not really anything anyone can say or do that will put it to an end. We all must face the harsh but liberating fact that he or she is just not that into us when we are ready to accept it.

And until then, here are a few tips I've gathered from my own experience, and from the book, to help ease your troubled, excuse-making minds.

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First things first, here at UF, we don't really have the time to be putting off our homework. Between cheering for the Gators and going out, dragging our hung-over butts to class every day and getting our work done on time, it is already a tight squeeze. So, it is entirely unnecessary to add in hours spent wondering why he or she hasn't called.

He's just not that into you tip number one: Spending time on the wrong person is just time wasted.

There's no point sitting around wondering, questioning or examining. What it comes down to is that you'll never know exactly why he's not calling or what she's thinking. So, trying to figure it out isn't going to get you anywhere.

Second, nobody wants to hurt your feelings. There are definitely some jerks out there that enjoy breaking your heart and take pride in making you feel terrible about yourself. But there are really very few of these people. And honestly, we all know there is no good way to let someone down.

He's just not that into you tip number two: A man (or woman) would rather be trampled by elephants that are on fire than tell you that he or she's just not that into you.

Have you ever noticed how often you find yourself questioning whether or not he or she is really into you? It's most likely because they're just not. Nearly everybody tries to find a way around saying it, and it is very unlikely that they actually will.

So, if you for one second have the inkling that maybe, just maybe he or she isn't into you, you're probably right. And it is best to just accept it.

Last, despite Bernie Machen's wishes, our school still reigns as the No. 1 party school in the nation. This means, unfortunately, that we tend to say a lot that we don't mean when we're under the influence of alcohol.

He's just not that into you tip number three: I love you doesn't count unless he or she is sober.

Sad, but true, boys and girls, that the more drunk you are the less likely the words coming out of your mouth are what you mean. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts doesn't even begin to cover it.

Everybody wants to get some when they're drunk and they'll more often than not say whatever it takes to ensure they get exactly what they want.

So, put down the phone and stop waiting for it to ring, because it most likely won't. And instead of focusing all of your attention on the one that isn't into you, get out there to find the one who is.

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