If you're a senior like me (I would technically classify myself as a redshirt junior, but that's besides the point), and you spent the last three Florida-Georgia games getting wasted at the Landing or in the parking lot of Jacksonville Municipal Stadium, I feel sorry for you.
For the life of me, I can't understand why "sports fans" insist on being three sheets to the wind - for UF-UGA, maybe seven or eight sheets would be more accurate - by the time they're ready to watch their team play.
Call me crazy, but I like to clearly understand what's going on, especially during big games, and sometimes even remember what I watched/thought the next day. I would count control of my bladder as a plus as well, though not totally necessary I suppose.
In my three years at college, the Gators and Bulldogs have squared off in some games I'm glad I can remember.
My freshman year, Florida was coming off the crippling Auburn loss, and it would be easy to argue the 21-14 win over Georgia served as the spring board for the eventual national title.
In 2007, both teams came in with two losses and absolutely desperate to salvage their seasons. UGA stomped in the end zone on its way to a Sugar Bowl berth, and the rest is history.
Last season, a Florida team out for revenge beat the hangover out of Georgia fans on its way to another national title.
Which brings me to Saturday.
Given all the great recent and distant history between these two Southeastern Conference powerhouses, I strongly recommend that anyone making the 90-minute excursion to Jacksonville really take the time to focus on what's important this weekend and forget about any potential distractions.
And just this once, I'm referring to the game when I say distraction.
It's apparent from the unfamiliar lack of buildup throughout the week that this isn't exactly the Big - with a capital 'B' - game that it has been in the past.
The Bulldogs are just an average SEC team this season, and the Gators are playing some of the most boringly successful football in recent memory. If you find defense "exciting," good for you. I do, too. But who among us wouldn't argue UF was far more entertaining last season when it was hanging 40-plus on the reg?
I have no reason to believe this game won't look a lot like last week's Mississippi State matchup - minus the pick-sixes - so just this one time, I find it acceptable for fans to make cornhole the main athletic event in their itinerary Saturday.
Cross the bridge, show up early, grill out and throw back a few cold ones with 84,000 of your closest friends because the environment might just be the most redeeming quality of this year's 87th edition of the rivalry.
There probably won't be any dancing in the end zone after a score or fourth quarter timeouts to rub salt in the wounds of a 49-10 loss. (Do yourself a favor: load up the YouTube clip and keep an eye on No. 72 in Red and Black. Big man gets down.)
There probably won't be any fireworks at all.
We're all getting ready to sleepwalk through another ugly 10-point win, which is why I will leave you with something from my youth.
I distinctly remember going to a spring training baseball game with my dad at beautiful Roger Dean Stadium in Jupiter, sitting in the bleachers on a hot summer day.
A charismatic beer vendor walked by our section and gave us a classic sales pitch: "Buy a beer! Your friend looks better blurred!"
I suspect the same will be true Saturday for our old friend - the Florida-Georgia game.
