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Sunday, June 23, 2024

As any well-educated and well-rounded 20-year-old can tell you, college welcomes those with an irrepressible appetite for knowledge. However, those 20-somethings also comprise the nation’s youth – a generation that is enjoying its prime and is fully aware of it sexual abilities. College also welcomes the flirtatious, the scandalous, the irresponsible, the debased and the adorably promiscuous. We jump in and out of one another’s beds but often overlook the simpler, STD-free expressions of our sexuality.

This is where technology comes in. Smartphones, texting and webcams have broadened not only our communications, but also our sexual horizons. Long-distance couples should be especially thankful for this as it provides an outlet that allows them to get in touch, get off and prevents them from putting out for someone else.

Still, phone and webcam sex is not limited to those who are emotionally committed. Do you remember that Georgia fan you met in Jacksonville, the one who simultaneously blew you and your mind? He or she may live in Athens, but technology can establish a connection for at least one more night. Phone and webcam sex also provides an alternative to intercourse, thereby promoting abstinence. And if abstinence isn’t really your game, well, high-tech sex will prove sufficient at teasing your latest crush and his cocky attitude.

It all starts with simple texting, or rather, sexting. Use your BlackBerry or iPhone one night to drop a flirtatious hello. Ask your intended target why he or she is up at such a late hour and what he or she is doing to, err, entertain himself or herself. You’ll know pretty quickly if he or she has taken the bait. Just be careful where you leave your phone when sexting; you wouldn’t want the talk at Thanksgiving dinner to be why your younger sibling found a text that read, “I want to baste your turkey.”

Phone sex is where it gets heavier. This requires you to get vocal and not give a damn about what your roommate might be overhearing. Start by discussing what you’re not wearing and where you’re touching yourself. Progress into what you’d do with your phone buddy if he or she were there – think of Ludacris’ lyrics, “whips and chains, handcuffs, smack a little booty up with my belt.” Some might consider this prospect awkward or uncomfortable – but that’s why a sense of humor is necessary. A little encouragement will further direct the conversation from “but…I don’t really know what to say” to “I want you on all fours.”

And then there is the webcam.  This is best done not with someone met in a chat room but rather someone you know, trust and is of age – jailbait should not be a word in your vocabulary.  Webcam sex is essentially someone watching via an Internet connection while you show off your ass(ets), and milk yourself and that webcam’s abilities for all it’s worth.

This being 2009, phone and webcam sex isn’t creepy; it’s technological.  Just ensure that your morning after doesn’t include finding your adventures on, or, dear God, Xtube.

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