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Monday, April 29, 2024

“Dove World Outreach Center now accepting homosexual members.”

That my friends, is an example of a fake news headline. Done well, fake news can be satirical and thought provoking. Done poorly, as I’ve clearly demonstrated in the first sentence, it can be offensive.

“President Obama secretly white.”

Or stupid.

“Gator’s WR Chris Rainey arrested on stalking charges.”

Wait, that one’s true.

In honor of The Onion visiting UF today, here are some of the best fake-news sites out there, rated on a clickability scale of 1 (man this blows) to 5 (man, this doesn’t blow).

NewsBiscuit

The NewsBiscuit motto is, “News before it happens.” While this site doesn’t update as often as one would like, they can predict the future!

This alone is groundbreaking and revolutionary.

Clickability: 3

Best Headline: “New iPod shuffle designed to be inserted anally.”

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ChristWire

A site to piss off Christian conservatives. And it works. Just check out the comments section.

Fun drinking game: Take a shot every time you see the word “gay” on the page. You’ll be drunk quick, trust me.

Clickability: 3

Best headline: A tie between “I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People” and “God Strikes Brazil with Cataclysmic Fire Tornado, Gay Adoption To Blame.”

Weekly World News

The articles may seem like something from the Enquirer, however Weekly World News towers over its peers by providing a wide variety of subjects to attack.

It also goes straight for the silly. Their “Mutants” and “Aliens” columns cannot be found anywhere else, and the site is the best designed of the bunch.

Clickability: 4

Best Headline: “Megan Fox is a man!”

News Groper

Who knew that Osama bin Laden wanted kudos for his birthday on his “secret” Facebook wall? News Groper, that’s who.

This website provides the blogs from celebrities you will never get to read. Where else are you going to read a blog from the mind of the pope? Why you would ever need to is another question entirely, but who cares? Not me.

Clickability: 1,000,000

Best Headline: “You know you’re a true stoner when you got a got-damn cat in your bong.”

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