After an entire week of getting all political on you and educating you on the basics of this critical November voting game, our political pants and Uncle Sam shirts just feel too tight.
Although there are so many more candidates worthy of our endorsement, we just don’t have the time. And we would never deprive you of your favorite-day-of-the-week editorial.
We know you associate the start of the weekend with the swift darts and the laurels we bestow on those who deserve such worthy acknowledgment. So, without further ado, sit back and allow us to present you with your Don’t-Piss-Off-Uncle-Sam-Or-Us-By-Not-Voting-Because-We-Worked-So-Hard-To-Make-You-Realize-How-Important-Voting-Is edition of
Darts & Laurels
Frankly, we’re ready for the election season to be over. Besides winter and the wonderful sweater weather it brings, election season, complete with its anticipation and its will-Boehner-waterboard-Pelosi-or-won’t-he antics, is honestly one of our favorite seasons. It brings out the very, very best in everyone.
And “the best” isn’t just reserved to politicians.
“The View” co-host Joy Behar, the liberal queen of Brooklyn, found herself in a teensy tiff with our endless news provider and our Tea Party queen of the west, Sharron Angle, when Angle appeared on “The View” Tuesday.
Telling the Republican candidate for one of Nevada’s U.S. Senate seats she would be going to hell for her latest TV advertisement that Behar described as racist and evil, “The View” turned into a political contribution machine for Angle.
According to Angle, her campaign raised $150,000 the day she appeared on the talk show. So what did Angle do? She sent Behar flowers as a final-slap-in-the-face thank-you.
Not to be outdone, Behar told the Tea Partier to put her money where her mouth is and donate the flower money to charity instead of wasting it on flowers. Behar then pledged $5,000 to a charity in Angle’s name.
For speaking your mind and really putting your money where your mouth is, we’re sending Behar a You-Go-Girl-We-Like-That-Feisty-In-You LAUREL.
And “feisty” kind of sounds like “Fest.”
It’s that time of the year when Gainesville finds itself inundated with even more hipsters when the annual punk rock music jubilation comes to town.
Be on full alert, Gainesville police. We know with all your guns, pepper spray and Tasers, these kids can really outdo you with their mohawks and bullet belts. Let’s try to keep the police brutality and rioting down to a minimum this year.
And you’re not immune either, Fest kids. We love all of you, and we’re so glad you’re here, but as soon as you leave we’re sending you off with a Please-Just-Go-Take-A-Shower-You’re-Starting-To-Crust-Over DART.
And one last thing, Gators. Please don’t forget: If you haven’t already voted early or by mail, Tuesday is Election Day.
Find your polling place, and educate yourself. Apathy is democracy’s kryptonite. And if you show us your “I voted” sticker we’ll give you your own Look-What-You’re-Doing-For-Democracy-Before-You-Get-Pissed-Off-Again-At-Incumbents LAUREL.
We’ll see you in November.
