In response to my last post, I received a comment from someone who "has embraced chivalry since boyhood" and who defined chivalry as "common decency." In honor of this comment and in honor of that special occasion known as Valentine's Day, I decided to delve deeper into the subject.
Chivalry is basically treating a woman differently simply because, well, she is a woman. Though most commonly this is seen in dating, it can also be observed in more casual settings. People have varying opinions on this age-old idea. Does it perpetuate stereotypes of the "weaker sex," or is it simply part of being a respectful person?
An interesting article out today displays these varying perspectives. It draws a contrast between showing women special respect in social interactions and the lack of respect in many other areas of life, like politics.
A women's studies professor concludes in the article that, "Chivalry works, then, to conceal some of the damning realities of structural inequalities between women and men."
This touches on an important point: chivalry and sexism are great partners. Just watch any episode of the 1960s-era “Mad Men.” This isn't anything new, but it’s a point that I believe needs re-examining.
First of all, is chivalry even relevant anymore? Well, it comes in many guises. A female friend recently told me she's had more than one "door-holding standoff" in which the male behind her expects her to enter first. This may be more annoying than sexist, but it's still a leftover from a past in which women were to be taken care of and concrete etiquette was to be followed.
And there really are leftovers everywhere you look. Through my research, I happened upon the website AskMen.com, which bills itself as, "The largest and most trusted source of men's lifestyle content on the web." In the article "Modern-day Chivalry," it points out, "She may be as capable as a man, but she is, in fact a lady," and, "In such a confused world, a little old-fashioned chivalry can go a long way to make a girl feel special."
So, according to the most trusted source for men, chivalry is alive and kicking. And according to it, we're more like girls or ladies than women. Along with chivalry, the terms "girl" and "lady" are delicate terms that work quite nicely to disguise sexism under a positive glow. Although these two words are part of our everyday speech, they often have belittling and antiquated connotations when applied to grown women.
I know that not everyone likes to make their everyday interactions political. By all means, wanting a guy to lend you his coat when you're cold doesn't make you an anti-feminist. Although I believe most acts of chivalry are done with good intentions, it's sometimes hard to ignore their sexist implications from a feminist's viewpoint.
As Feb. 14 draws closer, it's important to note that the extra effort in treating a woman respectfully in the dining room often fails to extend to the boardroom. And that's pretty sad. Happy Valentine's Day.
