Spring‘s officially underway, Gators. With Sunday evening’s equinox in the books, we’re prepared to enjoy our weekend or two with decent weather before our sidewalks turn into lava flows.
Before you make that last push to save your GPA by cloistering yourself in the library, take a minute to enjoy this week’s go-outside-and-play edition of...Darts & Laurels.
This week’s “super moon” wasn’t the only rare event we got to see.
For the first time in U.S. history, we have an openly gay presidential candidate.
And he’s a Republican.
We were definitely scratching our heads over this piece of information, but we’ve been waiting for a while to see a viable moderate Republican candidate. After all, the upcoming election could see some of the most conservative candidates we’ve had in a long time. For braving the inevitable eyebrow-raising of his own party, we’re giving a thanks-for-throwing-a-much-needed-hat-in-the-ring LAUREL to Fred Karger. We’re hoping his party doesn’t throw him under the bus along the way.
In that same line of inspiring anomalies, we’re asking you to think back to January and the biggest news story of that month, the Arizona shooting.
Contrary to the primary reports, U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords survived a gunshot to the head. Now, she’s beat the odds and is even singing. Her story leads us to throwing congratulations-on-finding-some-light-in-all-the-darkness LAURELS at Giffords, her family and her doctors. Watching her slowly heal can help her state and the nation do the same.
While Gabby’s heading out of the woods, Barry’s trekking deeper into them.
We can count very few people satisfied with the president’s decisions about Libya over the past week. On the left, they’re complaining that the U.S. is overstepping its bounds, while those on the right are griping that it’s too little, too late. We’re jumping on the bandwagon, but we just think he should have been a bit more transparent with his decision to take action. So we’re throwing a care-to-clue-us-in-on-your-thinking-buddy? DART at President Obama for keeping us in the dark. At least let us know what our goals are, jeez.
We also want to know exactly what went down in Criser Hall on Wednesday.
From what we understand, a Humans vs. Zombies player was carrying an orange and clear Nerf gun when a UF employee called the cops, thinking it was a firearm. How do you make that mistake? We suppose that kind of debacle is the reason for the policies the game has in place. With that in mind, we’re throwing you’ve-got-to-be-freaking-kidding-me DARTS at both the UF employee who called the cops and the armed student, both unnamed. Can’t we go back to the good ol’ days when eating brains didn’t involve squad cars?
Speaking of the days of yore, do you remember the toys you played with as a kid?
We all have our favorites, but our parents’ collectively most-hated toy is making itself at home in Winter Haven in October. We’re giving a they’re-not-just-for-stabbing-parental-feet-anymore LAUREL to Legoland Florida for catering to our inner child and making our fathers wince with painful memories.
Now go get some fresh air, Gators.
