What do you do when you fail a midterm? Some say they criticize themselves for mistakes they made, and some say they were lazy. But new research is leading psychiatrists to urge people to practice a new wave of thinking: self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the ability to be kind to and understanding of oneself, even in the face of personal failure. When people accept the reality that they are human and couple that with self-sympathy and kindness, they have high levels of self-compassion.
According to new research, self-compassion isn’t just a feel-good exercise. People who score high in this trait are less depressed and anxious, and they may be better at achieving goals like kicking a bad habit or acing a test.
Having high self-compassion can also help one cope with stress more effectively. One study, “Self-compassion, Achievement Goals, and Coping with Academic Failure,” analyzed how students at the University of Texas dealt with disappointment after they failed their midterm exams.
“The students who scored higher in self-compassion weren’t so derailed by the experience,” said Dr. Kristin Neff, who authored the study. “When you’re really stressed you tend to be harsher on yourself out of habit, when you should actually be kindest to yourself during those stressful situations,” she said.
Neff, who is also an assistant professor at the University of Texas, believes low self-compassion can also hinder one’s academic career because it coincides with a heightened fear of failure.
“You’re not going to take that interesting course if you think you’re going to fail, or maybe you’ll put off studying till the last minute so you’ll have an excuse for failing,” Neff said. “It can be really damaging in terms of academic motivation if you really don’t give yourself the support you need to take risks in learning.”
Thinking positively can also help students ease another serious problem of procrastination, said Tina Long, a health promotion specialist at GatorWell.
“Procrastination for most students is not necessarily [stressful] because they’re short on time,” Long said. “It’s because it’s such a daunting task, and we talked ourselves into studying or working by being horrible to ourselves.”
Instead of beating yourself up after a slip-up, Long advises doing something enjoyable and rejuvenating.
“Then figure out how you can plan differently and stick to that plan so hopefully you’ll do better the next time,” Long said.
Despite this advice, some students believe self-criticism is the only way to learn from mistakes.
“When I fail I usually beat myself up because I probably didn’t study the right way or didn’t work hard enough,” said Justin Zacharias, a 20-year-old UF student.
Although he believes he’d be less stressed if he stopped criticizing himself after making mistakes, Zacharias said he believes his performance would suffer.
“It can’t be that important to you if you’re not beating yourself up over it,” he said.
If you want to learn more about self-compassion or test your self-compassion levels, visit http://self-compassion.org.
