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Sunday, May 19, 2024

About 40 years ago, a herd of reporters gathered in a Democratic politician's office for a casual, off-the-record Q&A session. However, the only "Q" the reporters were concerned with that day was the war in Vietnam and why the United States was still involved. They kept pressing the politician for a definitive answer, something they had tried to do repeatedly in the past to little avail. The members of the press would finally get their answer when the politician whipped out his whoopee stick, pointed to it and proclaimed "This is why we're in the Vietnam!"

For President Lyndon Baines Johnson, the man who stood before the shocked/disturbed/amused reporters, his johnson (which he christened as "Jumbo") was more than just another appendage. It was a symbol of power that he wielded quite frequently. He would often show it to fellow politicians and congressional aides to show them that he was in charge.

Now, we have a congressman who has been thrown into the blender of media scrutiny over photos he sent via Twitter that focused on his personal stimulus package (for those morally opposed to penile puns, sorry we're not sorry.)

You would figure we Americans would have learned by now how to deal with politician's tricky dicks, but since it's on the Internet and the man's last name is manna from the irony gods, everyone just cannot help but feel the need to unload.

The jokes have been fun, but we have more important things to worry about, such as the debt ceiling, a handful of wars and an economy that just refuses to get healthy.

But like most of y'all, we can't wait until the story breaks when Sen. Bigtits is caught trading arms with Terry Jones and Ambassador Threeway.

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