The saddest part about all of this? Not a sliver of surprise was felt by any of us.
But when you're dealing with presidential candidate and Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, such is to be expected.
It didn't take long for the patron saint of verbal and intellectual diarrhea to shift the waves of attention away from her slight oversight of christening Waterloo, Iowa, the birthplace of the quintessential American alpha male, John Wayne, when it actually is known as the home of John Wayne Gacy Jr., a clown-costume-wearing boy rapist / serial killer (can't tell you how many times we've made that slip-up). Now she's upping the ante with reports that claim the clinic she and her husband own engages in therapy that encourages homosexual patients to rewire their sexual drives to commit to the Lord's vision of an all-heterosexual order. Glory, glory, hallelujah!
But our main qualm isn't with her and her husband's alleged looney-toon hypothesis, one that has been completely defecated on by every credible piece of scientific and medical research that doesn't come with pictures for you to color in. This is America; it is your constitutional right to believe whatever you want - no matter how illogical or ridiculous it may be. Our main qualm is that a candidate who has spent her whole political career selling herself to her conservative base as an outspoken champion of Christian values is now distancing herself from it because it could be - heaven forbid - just a tad too detrimental to her political prospects. Once again, she proves that G.O.P. God has the power to conquer anything - expect poll figures. She should just, for the lack of a better word, "come out" and say, "Why you mad? Yeah, we try to cure homos; get off our touched-by-an-angel metaphorical nuts!"
An American politician with a backbone, what a miracle that would be!
