Like the Gators, this week is our first test of the season. We’re a young, inexperienced group with a little bit of upside. Everyone has been working hard all month, and we feel like we’re hitting our stride.
But until you actually enter the arena and compete, you still have doubt. The arena, of course, is the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column. The competition? Who can do the best. The reward? Well, being the champ has always been a good icebreaker at Midtown.
To kick off the season, we let two of our writers debate the Georgia-Boise State game. Here we go.
Boise State (-3) will eat all the Kibbles ‘N Bits on Saturday because …There’s a reason the Bulldogs experienced a mass exodus during the offseason: You’d have to be Ray Charles to not see Georgia isn’t what it once was.
The dynamic duo of Matt Stafford and A.J. Green couldn’t even save coach Mark Richt from falling to the proverbial hot seat.
Now, UGA is counting on a crop of inexperienced running backs — since Washaun Ealey jumped off the sinking ship and Caleb King flunked out — to help bolster an offense led by quarterback Aaron Murray. While Murray may turn out to be the best passer in the Southeastern Conference, he’ll still need that running game to create space for the receivers and get the eighth man out of the box.
And that’s where it gets ugly for Georgia. Only one back (Richard “Chunks” Samuel) has starting experience, and the rest are extremely raw. Sprinkle in Boise’s run-defense (ranked 7th nationally in 2010) and it’s a done deal. Get out the shock collar because the ‘Dawgs will not be running wild Saturday.
— MATT WATTS
Georgia (+3) will stomp on that glass slipper well before midnight because …This is a better breed of ’Dawg than the one we saw on the field last season. Murray is a year older, as is tight end Orson Charles. Losing Green is tough, obviously, but the cupboard isn’t exactly bare.
I know the old “This is the SEC, dammit!” line gets kind of old. But this is the SEC, dammit! You lose A.J.? It’s time for Marlon Brown and Tavarres King, both of whom were among the best prep receivers in the nation back when they signed.
These teams met in the season opener in 2005, and Georgia made Puppy Chow of their competitor with a 48-13 win. Remember that game, Matt? You were, what? 35 years old? (Note: To understand that joke, you must know that Matt Watts is old. Like, really old. Really, really old.)
— TYLER JETT
Now, on to this year’s competitors:
From the Florida Times-Union, Mike “I’m sure you’ll have a great career … IN CANADA!” DiRocco, who irked a certain former Gators defensive end by insulting his (lack of) pass-rushing ability. Hint: the player’s first name rhymes with Puke.
Next up, from the Associated Press, Mark “I should have gone the Van Wilder route” Long, who looked on wistfully with his 30-something-year-old eyes as a group of UF students prepared for a kegger Wednesday night. “That’s going to be a good party,” he told his Twitter followers. #Creepy
The 2009 champ is back in InsideTheGators.com’s Kyle “I wish the parachute failed” Maistri, whose eyes glazed over while interviewing college football players this week. The life of a beat writer and message board monitor doesn’t seem so fun after spending a Saturday jumping out of airplanes.
Also joining us is Fightin’Gators.com’s Cody “Why isn’t Fredi Gonzalez listening to me?” Jones, whose career aspirations include a couch to sit on, a pair of Braves boxers to wear and a Twitter account used to fling 140-character insults toward the Atlanta manager. Journalism industry, meet the 21st-Century sports writer.
The home team is managed by alligatorSports editor Tom “START JEFFY DAMMIT!” Green, whose overwhelming man-crush on Florida’s backup QB has taken an ugly turn. Instead of simple admiration, Green has stepped his game up. Rumor has it he’s flirting with walk-ons to get closer to his precious Driskel.
The second in command is alligatorSports assistant editor Matt “Walk around the club, Watts everybody” Watts, whose name became a verb after a certain feature last spring. Watch out, Coach Boom, don’t scream at any players, Watts might try to get you axed.
Joining the column for once again is alligatorSports staff writer Tyler “It’s all downhill after 21” Jett, who celebrated his 22nd birthday by working in the office and playing with a big rubber ball. We Googled “Young Boy Balls” to find the toy’s official title, but the results weren’t what we hoped. Our names are now on a government watch list.
And, in dead-ass last place, if only by blind luck, is alligatorSports staff writer Greg “What the hell is Pluto?” Luca, whose reaction to the celestial body’s demotion from planet-status proved to be pretty damning evidence against Connecticut’s public education system. What will you learn next? How to write in cursive?
