With a 12-hour road trip to beautiful Lexington, Ky., on the horizon, we’re going to get right to it this week.
As Southeastern Conference play heats up, so does the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column.
This week, we let two writers debate the heated South Carolina-Vanderbilt matchup.
South Carolina (-16) will stop the influx to the Commodores’ bandwagon because…
First of all, last week, when South Carolina squeaked past Navy, was an aberration, a departure from the norm.
Steve Spurrier and his boys weren’t prepared for that kind of fight from a service academy, but they’ll be ready for Vanderbilt this Saturday.
Star freshman Jadeveon Clowney and the Gamecocks defensive line will handle Vandy up front with ease, bottling up the running back duo of Zac Stacy and Jerron Seymour and forcing Larry Smith to beat South Carolina through the air.
Add in Heisman frontrunner Marcus Lattimore and it’s going to be a long day for the ‘Dores.
— MATT WATTS
Vanderbilt (+16) will send Steve Spurrier’s visor into orbit because...
These ‘Dores don’t like to be pushed around, as evidenced by Vandy’s surprisingly stout defense this season.
Currently, the Commodores rank 20th in the nation in total defense, giving up just 14 points per game.
They also tout the fourth-best passing defense in the SEC, allowing just 164.3 yards per game — while the Gamecocks average fewer than that through the air on offense.
Marcus Lattimore may very well get his, but the offense just hasn’t been the same since Stephen Garcia became straight edge.
— TOM GREEN
Leading a five-way tie for first place this week with a 12-11 record is Tom “I spent my summer flirting with A’s players” Green, who has been known to creepily stalk the Facebook page of a certain alligatorSports writer’s little sister in search of bikini and prom pictures. Didn’t you hear that PETA has its own free porn site (PETA.xxx) now? Grow up, Tom.
Joining Tom in first is FightinGators.com’s Cody “Who did doughnuts in the outfield?” Jones, who was appalled — appalled, I tell you! — Bud Selig would allow America’s past time to be played on the same field that hosted two football games last weekend. We’re sure Cody adjusted his monocle in disgust, too.
Also sitting at the top is alligatorSports writer Greg “I broke the Alligator” Luca, who Inception’d the server in the office last week when he tried to put a folder within a folder, causing it to crash. Good thing we still have that old printing press lying around, Greg.
Still holding strong is our 2009 champ, Kyle “Seriously, where is my tinfoil hat?” Maistri, whose cynicism and skepticism apparently know no bounds after he likened the end of Mayweather-Ortiz to a fake (It’s pre-determined, dammit!) WWE match. Just because Ortiz is a clown doesn’t mean everything in life is fixed just to upset you, buddy.
Also clutching to a top spot is alligatorSports assistant editor Matt “Omar bleepin’ Infante” Watts. If living the life of a Florida football beat reporter wasn’t soul-crushing enough, Omar Infante’s walk-off home run against the Braves may have pushed Watts over the edge this week. It’s OK, Matt, you still have Blaine Gabbert and his glorious, glorious locks.
Sitting in sixth with a record of 11-12 is alligatorSports writer Tyler “My months of hard work are ruined” Jett, whose epic, heart-wrenching feature in this week’s paper was sullied by a misspelled name in the center of the two-page spread. Don’t worry, buddy, we still think you deserve a Hearst for it.
Tied for dead-ass last, with a piss-poor record of 10-13 is the Florida Times-Union’s Mike “Anyone want my job?” DiRocco, who threatened to text in his resignation and leave his phone in the visitor’s locker room this week after we waited around for an hour and a half to interview two whole players.
Also in dead-ass last place with a piss-poor record of 10-13 is The Associated Press’ Mark “I better not sit too close to the coach” Long, who thought he would avoid being called out in this column by sitting far away from Charlie Weis during media this week. You don’t have to hide your true feelings, Mark. We know you want to sit in Weis’ lap with Mike and tell him what you want for Christmas.
