Mitt Romney is every Republican's favorite number-two pick for president. If no one else works, the GOP will settle for Romney's lackluster, establishment candidacy.
But in the meantime, we get to have all the fun with the other 40 people running for the GOP presidential nomination.
We've got a Texas governor who's determined to figure out the best way to confuse an already confused Republican base. At least they aren't confused about how crazy Rick Perry is.
There's a mathematician who has an affinity for pizza and the number nine. Or is it 45? Who knows? Herman Cain can't seem to make up his mind about anything lately. And, as the current frontrunner, he's facing sexual harassment accusations. It's about time for some scandal to plague this race.
Who can forget the loveable Minnesotan with the creepy eyes and the expression forever stuck in a fake smile? If you haven't heard, Michele Bachmann has raised somewhere between 23 and 300 children, but who's counting?
Standing toe to toe with the mean GOP queen is the former Speaker of the House from Georgia who is as articulate as he is boring. Let's just say Newt Gingrich is very articulate.
You also have the libertarian-leaning congressman from Texas who just wants to legalize heroin and hates that darn Federal Reserve System. Ron Paul might be the most consistent candidate of the bunch, but he scares some in the GOP who can't imagine the U.S. not bombing someone somewhere.
Who in the hell is Jon Huntsman?
Finally, there's the former Pennsylvania senator who's a bucket of laughs, especially when it comes to marriage and family. Too bad the only people laughing at Rick Santorum are the ones who put his name in Google.
Meanwhile, GOP insiders and pundits are hoping that the likes of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Congressman Paul Ryan or, hell, even Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal will throw their hat into the race.
With all this in-fighting, how can the GOP ever expect to come together to take on the Barack Obama powerhouse? He's already been campaigning and organizing for the general election while the Republicans are ripping each other apart.
With a host of kooky candidates, how can the Republican base decide who to throw their support behind?
Well, whatever happens, at least they can be comforted by the fact that Mitt Romney won't be elected president in 2012.
