It’s that time of the week again! It’s the end ...
Phew.
So without further ado, we present to you this week’s OK-only-a-couple-more-weeks-left-we-can-do-this-maybe-but-I-have-so-much-stuff-to-do-and-oh-wait-did-I-forget-about-that-paper-due-tomorrow edition of...
Darts & Laurels
First up, how many times have you read a news article with a headline starting with “New study finds ...”? Most of the time these “studies” tell us things that make us say, “Duh!”
That’s why we’re throwing a stop-wasting-time-and-tell-us-something-we-don’t-know DART at researchers from the University of Pittsburgh, Bradford, who found that texting in class creates learning problems.
This week, another contender for the Republican nomination dropped out of the race. So we’re giving a how-many-jokes-can-you-make-in-30-seconds-about-pulling-out LAUREL to Rick Santorum.
Thanks, Santorum. It was frothy.
It is no secret that political campaigns can often get dirty and personal.
For the most part, the mudslinging can make things exciting and entertaining. However, when commentators start throwing mud at the candidates’ spouses or families, things go a little too far.
For saying that Ann Romney, the wife of the Republican Party contender, “has actually never worked a day in her life,” we throw a leave-the-families-out-of-this-and-let’s-focus-on-the-issues DART at Democratic National Committee adviser Hilary Rosen.
It doesn’t even matter whether her argument is sound or not; it has almost nothing to do with anything in this campaign.
Next up, we give a humble thanks-for-four-decades-of-teaching-Gators LAUREL to David Denslow, an economics professor in the Warrington College of Business Administration.
Denslow will officially retire May 15.
Earlier this week, a request by 101 Cantina for a permit to serve alcohol in its parking lot for Cinco de Mayo was denied.
That’s why we’re throwing a who-gives-a-crap-where-you-buy-alcohol DART at the City of Gainesville for keeping this stupid ordinance on the books.
For refusing to install speed bumps in residential areas throughout Gainesville, we give a way-to-see-unintended-consequences LAUREL to the Gainesville City Commission.
While initially the idea of installing speed bumps in residential areas sounds like a good idea for safety reasons, the increased time it takes for emergency vehicles to arrive on the scene could create even more problems.
Have a fun and safe weekend, and be sure to check back next week!
