The pre-, mid- and post-Olympics news coverage may have subsided, but lucky for Gainesville residents, Ryan Lochte can still be a part of our daily lives. Here’s a drinking game to celebrate.
If you’re pregaming on a time crunch, you should probably go straight to his Twitter feed and drink every time you see: #jeah and you’d rather see #yolo, a desperate plea for a retweet from a 20-something female, any instance of shameless promotion for a product he might have gotten for free and any instance of shameless promotion for a Ryan Lochte signature product (for example: the highly anticipated “Lochte Hardcore” workout video — now available for pre-order). Enjoy your night out, and I’m sorry in advance if you roll over the next morning and see three Doritos Locos Tacos wrappers on your bedroom floor — remember your “real self” wouldn’t make that decision, so it doesn’t count.
It’s platinum, bears a slight resemblance to our flag and can often be found in Ryan Lochte’s mouth. If you see something gleaming near his head and it’s not a medal, it’s probably his grill, and you need to drink. Whether you see it in a picture, in real life or in your mind’s eye, grab a drink and grin while you chug. You have to keep grinning as you’re chugging.
Our boy likes to party, and UF students love to document it with their smartphones. Your Facebook news feed is probably more than familiar with blurry mobile uploads of your friend sweating next to Ryan Lochte. Drink for however many “likes” the picture gets.
Be Your Own Olympian
Grab your pal Michael (everybody knows at least one Michael) and start drinking bottles of beer. The first person to reach 11 (Lochte’s medal count) wins, and the loser has to turn the winner’s beer bottle caps into 11 individual necklaces — now you can feel like an Olympian too.
If you’re lucky enough to see him in real life, you have one simple task: drink enough truth serum to walk up and confess to him — regardless if you’re a dude or a chick— that you’ve been crushing on him since Athens. It may not be your opinion, but it’s the general consensus of the world. Be a global Gator. #LochteWorld