On Wednesday night, living rooms across the country hosted two heavyweights fighting it out for supremacy. As expected, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney traded jabs and zingers, trying to win over as many voters as possible. But the real battle begins on Saturday.
While the presidential election may sound important, the Florida-LSU showdown in The Swamp represents a key turning point in a race we here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column care much more about: the Southeastern Conference championship race.
This week, we have Joe Morgan and Adam Pincus debating another key SEC game.
Georgia (+1) is the top dog, so paint UGA’s dog house white and make sure his collar has a flag pin because...
The ‘Dawgs have ALL of the playmakers. Whether they are young — freshmen running backs Todd Gurley and Keith Marshall — or old — junior quarterback Aaron Murray — the Bulldogs have plenty of weapons to work with in the Southeastern Conference’s top-scoring offense. The ‘Dawgs’ D has the second-best athlete named Jones in The Peach State — Jarvis. Sorry, Julio, Chipper will forever be No. 1 in the state and in my heart.
-JOE MORGAN
South Carolina (-1) shall pass a law that outlaws Canine suffrage because...
Steve Spurrier’s refusal to field questions after the Gamecocks’ win against Missouri on Sept. 22 proved he’s got an ax to grind. On Saturday, his team will, too. Watch out for Jadeveon Clowney. He’s no joke. In a matchup that pits two of the NCAA’s best sack artists — Clowney and Jones — it will be Clowney and the Gamecocks who make Aaron Murray and the Bulldogs look like a circus sideshow.
-ADAM PINCUS
Now, onto the picks!
Leading the pack with a 22-18 record is Rivals’ Bryan “Go big or go home alone” Holt, who recently utilized a public restroom for a quick rendezvous. Let’s just say Holt did a lot of heavy lifting. For Holt, we guess it doesn’t matter if he’s looking at the tigers or the hippos. As long as he’s at the zoo, he’s satisfied.
Also in first is The Associated Press’ Mark “That’s my chair!” Long, who was thrown off when some early-bird reporters claimed his usual spot during Brent Pease’s press conference on Tuesday. Keep your sour grapes out of here, Long. Front-row seats are for the regulars!
Up next at 21-19 is The Miami Herald’s Matt “Go home, old man” Watts, who months after graduation refuses to keep his snark out of the alligatorSports office. We got this, bro. Get out of our business.
Rocking a solid 20-20 mark is The Palm Beach Post’s Jason “I haven’t eaten ice cream for lunch since 2009, during a 6-month period when I just didn’t care” Lieser, who actually said that on Wednesday. We have no idea how to react.
Also sporting a .500 clip is alligatorSports writer Josh “I only got one hour of sleep last night” Jurnovoy, who made sure everyone knew the details of how his busy week interrupted his usual sleeping schedule. Somebody get this kid a damn pacifier! The whining is relentless.
Sitting at 19-21 is alligatorSports writer Adam “On Mickey’s D” Pincus, whose obsession with McDonald’s Monopoly game has reached a disturbing level. Pincus, by the time you win the $1 million prize, you will have spent $2 million on Chicken McNuggets alone. Of course, we already consider you the alligatorSports version of the Dollar Menu — cheap.
Also with 19 wins is alligatorSports editor Greg “What do you mean I have to share the road?” Luca, whose failed U-turn attempt in the middle of West University Avenue this week resulted in an awkward three-point turn that brought one of Gainesville’s busiest roads to a standstill.
And in dead-ass last with a piss-poor record of 18-22 is alligatorSports assistant editor Joe “I’m chippy for Chipper” Morgan, who came back from his trip to Atlanta for Chipper Jones’ last homestand still giddy like an 11-year-old girl meeting Justin Bieber circa 2010. Joe hasn’t stopped smiling, and it’s been a week. Dude, get over it.
