Senior Day at The Swamp has arrived. Nineteen seniors will be honored before Florida takes on vaunted Jacksonville State. For those wondering, Jacksonville State is in Alabama. This will certainly turn into a classic the masses will be cluckin’ about for years to come. UF always seems to do well against non-BCS schools at home, right?
Tears will be shed as Florida’s seniors walk onto the field for the final time. The Gamecocks may also be doing a little bit of crying after this one is over. Are we the only ones who think chickens should stay as menu items like Chicken Parmesan rather than college football mascots?
Now, onto the picks!
The Cardinal (+20.5) will force the Ducks back into their coop because…
Stanford leads the nation in rushing defense, allowing just 58.6 yards per game. Take that, Ducks! Oregon ranks third in rushing offense with a staggering 325.1 yards per game. They’ve scored at least 42 points in every game this season. The highest-ranked defense Oregon has faced is Fresno State, now at No. 25. Stanford roughs up the Ducks on Saturday.
-ADAM PINCUS
The Ducks (-20.5) will make the Cardinal wish it wasn’t playing 1-on-11 because...
Kenjon Barner is good at football. In the five games leading up to last week, the senior running back averaged 177 rushing yards per game and 9.0 yards per carry. Last Saturday, he managed just 65 yards on 20 carries for an average of 3.3 yards per rush. Still, Oregon beat Cal 59-17. The Great Barnburner will not be contained again, and if he somehow is, the rest of the Ducks will rise to the occasion. Quack! Quack!
-JOSH JURNOVOY
In first place by a seven-game margin with a record of 56-32 after an 8-0 week is Rivals’ Bryan “I need a wingman” Holt, who texted Pincus late Friday night asking for some help with the ladies. Really, you picked Pincus? You’re supposed to pick a wingman women can tolerate.
Sitting in second with a 50-38 record is the Miami Herald’s Matt “In the army now” Watts, who rushed out to snag a copy of “Call of Duty Black Ops II” for his Xbox 360 and has since been sitting Indian style on the edge of his bed fighting an imaginary war against 11-year-olds while wearing a headset and shouting military jargon. Easy, ladies, not all at once.
In third with a record of 49-39 is alligatorSports editor Greg “Tissue man” Luca, who brings a pack of Kleenex everywhere he goes. He either watches “The Notebook” on a never-ending loop or is the sickest man in the world. Bet it’s the first one.
Coming in fourth at 48-30 is the Associated Press’ Mark “I’m with Pease” Long, who always brightens UF offensive coordinator Brent Pease’s day. Sometimes Long can’t make it because he’s covering the Jacksonville Jaguars, but when he’s in Gainesville for a real job, Pease always seems a bit happier. Unfortunately, the coach is in the minority on that one.
Tied for fifth at 46-42 is the Palm Beach Post’s Jason “I have a rude baby” Lieser, who posted a picture of his infant daughter flipping the bird to the camera on Twitter. This isn’t a good start for her. What happens when she hits pre-school?
Rounding out the fifth-place tie is alligatorSports writer Josh “Quarter-load” Jurnovoy, who won’t stop whining about how busy he is despite taking only three legitimate credit hours. God forbid you actually have to do some real work in your life. And no, your seven-minute radio show doesn’t count.
In seventh with a 43-45 record is alligatorSports assistant editor Joe “Move over, Fredi” Morgan, who has become obsessed with “MLB 2K12” on Xbox 360 and constantly tells his girlfriend about his 25 new friends. Nobody cares that Chipper Jones is batting .394 for your team. It’s not real, man.
And in dead-ass last, with a piss-poor record of 38-50 after a 1-7 week is alligatorSports.org editor Adam “Sticky fingers“ Pincus, who hatched an elaborate plan to defile his laptop when he stumbled upon some GIFs of female athletes on Monday night. We’ll leave it at that.
