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Thursday, April 18, 2024

Sexy is brought back: JT announces tour, to release album

Justin Timberlake’s appearance on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago made me realize two things: he looks unreasonably good dressed as tofu and he has somehow seduced my brain into thinking elevator music (eg. "Suit and Tie") is very entertaining. But what else is new, JT has seduced the world. Have you HEARD the song Rock Your Body? Clothes instantly off.

Justin announced his tour, Legends of the Summer, on Feb. 22.

Not good enough for you? This small celebrity named Jay-Z is also going to be on tour with him.

Even if you’re a ‘90s Justin fan, greasy curl fro and all, you can definitely benefit from attending this tour. I am also 190 percent sure Jessica Biel, JT’s wife, is hotter than me. But I don’t care. I am still going despite Justin being a taken man. And given the chance I’d probably make out with Jessica Biel too.

And his album, the "20/20 Experience," to be released on March 19 you haven’t seen enough Target commercials telling you to preorder it, makes me want to contact God and ask for more time on earth, just so I can listen to more Justin Timberlake music. And because the songs are all about seven minutes each and I’ll probably need the time to get through it all.

Target, iTunes and JT’s website have the album available to order ahead of time. You can even get an exclusive poster to hang in your room in your bundle if you order through the website. *Teenage girl squeal*

JT is the original heartthrob. Who else can bring sexy back? After all of these years where sexy has been lost, ruined by people who don’t know what sexy is. It’s probably the people who invented the “Canadian Tuxedo” or Crocs. Who knows? All the matters is Justin brought it back.

It’s possible that I got the exclusive, limited edition JT silhouette T-shirt and purchased the album on vinyl despite my lack of having a vinyl player. But it’s worth it because Justin never fails to offer lots of love. Lots of sex. And lots of magic.

To buy tickets for the tour visit TicketMaster.

For your viewing pleasure, here are the tour dates for Legends of the Summer:

LEGENDS OF THE SUMMER tour dates

July 17.............Toronto, ON....................Rogers Centre

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July 19.............New York, NY..................Yankee Stadium

July 22.............Chicago, IL.....................Soldier Field

July 26.............San Francisco, CA...........Candlestick Park

July 28.............Los Angeles, CA..............Rose Bowl

July 31.............Vancouver, BC................BC Place Stadium

August 4..........Hershey, PA....................Hershey Stadium

August 6..........Detroit, MI......................Ford Field

August 8..........Baltimore, MD M&T..........Bank Stadium

August 10........Boston, MA......................Fenway Park

August 13........Philadelphia, PA................Citizens Bank Park

August 16........Miami, FL.........................Sun Life Stadium

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