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Monday, June 05, 2023

Dance crazes your parents would be ashamed of

Waltzing, Tango, Salsa…dancing can be a way for many people to relax, have fun, or let out any stress that they may have built up. It can be a way to express yourself without saying one word. However, there are some dances crazes that are a lot less like dance and more like convulsing or epileptic seizures. 


This dance requires that you bend backwards like your spine just gave out and swing your arms behind you. It was inspired by an 80s movie, "Weekend at Bernie’s", in which these two guys try to cover up the fact that their boss is dead but they are amazed to see that when music plays, his body becomes only semi lifeless and starts moving around. They get into all these shenanigans and the movie is pretty funny, but the stupid dance move inspired by it is so not. If your parents saw you doing this, they might call a priest because you just end up looking possessed.

Pretty boy swag

This little delight right here has you bending your knees like you are doing half assed squats and rubbing your head…basically just soaking in your own swag-ness I guess. Not only is the dance beyond stupid, but then the song… just read these enriching lyrics:

This right here is my swag

All the girls are on me, damn

Everybody pay attention

This right here is my pretty boy swag (ayeee)

Pretty boy swag (ayye) [x4]

If your mother heard this all she would do is have questions as to why are his knees  giving out… why are his pants so low…what exactly is swag.  And to be honest, I have the same questions. 

Crank that (Superman)

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Superman is sadly another dance from the creator of the pretty boy swag, Soulja Boy. This dance is a bit more intricate. You hop on one foot to the left three times and then to the right three times all while “cranking” your wrists and then there is some leg work tapping your ankles and then your jump up and throw your hands up in the air like your are superman… forgive my poor explanation, I have a hard time translating stupidity into words. If you really wanna know what it looks like, you can look I up. But please…spending 3 minutes doing anything else would be more productive.


This dance is still insanely popular unlike the others on this list that seem to have thankfully died out. This song is mostly for girls, since it has you shaking what your mama gave you. You either put your hands on your knees and shake you butt or get on your hands and knees shaking your butt, trying to get as much reverberation as you can. Some girls even get really creative and lean their legs on walls, chairs…anything they can find really. Some celebs have even taken to this little number…Miley Cyrus in particular. I am sure that every time Billy Ray sees his little pumpkin shaking it, half dressed, all over the Internet that she is tearing up his achy breaky heart.

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