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Thursday, May 23, 2024

Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and we know some of you will be sulking in front of the TV with a heart-shaped pizza. Depending on what your Facebook relationship status claims, here’s how we suggest spending Friday night with everyone’s favorite Valentine: alcohol.

Facebook says: In a relationship, but my boyfriend can’t perform

What to watch: “Sex and the City”

Bartender, I need a: Little D***’ll Do


2 oz George Dickel Tennessee whiskey

3 to 5 splashes Mountain Dew citrus soda

Facebook says: Single and lonely

What to watch: “The Notebook”

Bartender, I need a: Box of wine

Recipe: Go to Publix

Facebook says: Boys? Who needs ‘em?

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What to watch: “Bridesmaids”

Bartender, I need a: Girl’s Night Out


1 oz Archers peach schnapps

1 oz Archers cranberry schnapps

1 oz Archers lime schnapps

8 oz lemonade

1 oz grenadine syrup

Facebook says: Girls? Who needs ‘em?

What to watch: “The Hangover”

Bartender, I need a: Don’t Touch My Mustache


1 oz Captain Morgan Parrot Bay coconut rum

1 oz pineapple juice

1 oz grenadine syrup

Facebook says: Looking for a sugar daddy

What to watch: “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”

Bartender, I need a: Big Daddy Woo Woo


1 oz aquavit

1/2 cup hard cider

1/2 cup beer

Facebook says: I have a friend with benefits

What to watch: “He’s Just Not That Into You”

Bartender, I need a: Brief Encounter


1 oz peach schnapps

1 oz coconut liqueur

1 scoop orange sherbet

1 dash grenadine syrup

Facebook says: All my friends are getting engaged. What’s wrong with me?

What to watch: “Bachelorette”

Bartender, I need a: Chocolate Confusion


1/2 oz vodka

1/2 oz vanilla rum

1/2 oz Frangelico hazelnut liqueur

1/2 oz dark creme de cacao

5 oz milk

1 oz chocolate syrup

Facebook says: I’m on Tinder

What to watch: ”Knocked Up”

Bartender, I need a: Dew Me


1 oz Jack Daniel’s Tennessee whiskey

1 oz Southern Comfort peach liqueur

1 splash lemon juice

4 oz Mountain Dew citrus soda

Facebook says: Valentine’s? That’s today?

What to watch: “Pineapple Express”

Bartender, I need a: Dirty Bong Water


1 oz Chambord raspberry liqueur

1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur

1 oz amaretto almond liqueur

1 oz spiced rum

1 oz sweet and sour mix

Facebook says: I swear my girlfriend exists

What to watch: “Lars and the Real Girl”

Bartender, I need a: Home Alone


2 oz vodka

2 tsp Kool-Aid Berry Blue mix

1 tbsp sugar

4 oz Gatorade Riptide Rush energy drink

1/2 oz Mountain Dew lime soda

All recipes from

[A version of this story ran on page 10 on 2/13/2014]

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