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Friday, September 29, 2023
<p>Miley Cyrus performs on her "Bangerz Tour" in 2014.</p>

Miley Cyrus performs on her "Bangerz Tour" in 2014.

Let me count the ways in which you’ve changed, Miley.

Your singing, your behavior, it’s perplexing.

For one, your tongue belongs in your mouth, you see,

Not for countless selfies, but perhaps to sing.


You may have 10 million followers on Instagram,

Thinking your photos are cool and unique.

But even Hannah Montana would look and say, WTF happened? Damn.

Cause all those near-naked pictures are scary, not chic.


A while ago, your songs had some meaning

You were praised for your voice and talent

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Now all I see is your pole dancing and “twerking,”

And you should consider giving them up for Lent.


You say you are just expressing who you really are,

But it just looks like you want the attention.

Cause you just look like that faaaded girl at a bar,

With a much higher pension.


Maybe now you think it’s ok to act this way,

With your face down, ass up

But years from now, at the end of the day.

Think about your grand-kid’s faces when they look you up.

The horror.

Miley Cyrus performs on her "Bangerz Tour" in 2014.

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