Respect. The simple seven letter word that contributes to the foundation on which the world is built. You respect others, they respect you. When the world functions in this fashion, which it never seems to do, everything is happy and peaceful. However, there is also a flip side. This side is when respect is lost in translation. You believe you are showing respect to a person, but they interpret it as the complete opposite.
I happened to be the victim of cultural ignorance in France. Paris, to be exact. Take note: Parisians, and I'll boldly make the assumption of the French in general, are very clear about their thoughts. When you offend them, they will let you know it- whether in a gesture, snide comment, or other extremely passive aggressive manner. “Lucky” for me, I received the passive aggressive end of the stick.
There I was sitting in a fine establishment near the Eiffel Tower flipping through the dinner menu- you see, on the sign outside of the restaurant they had had a menu displaying a wide array of sandwich options that were, to my disappointment, not present on the menu in my hand. I flagged down the waiter and politely asked for him to bring me the sandwich menu. Mere seconds later that innocent question earned my family and I a bare table without placemats, utensils, or a waiter to ask for our order. We were literally asked to move from our lovely set table to this one for the sole reason that our set table was for people who intended to eat dinner. Was I fuming? You bet. Did I want to use a few choice words and give him a piece of my mind? Oh, yes. I did not deserve such blatant rudeness and disrespect!
These are the moments where you either make or break the "American" stereotype. We are supposedly ignorant of other cultures and too lazy to learn about them. Truth be told, I have seen many Americans come and go throughout Europe, and unfortunately, the origins for this stereotype are quite clear.
While still composing myself, I decided to analyze the situation to try and see what I had possibly done wrong. In America, I can basically order an informal sandwich in any restaurant. However, as it turns out, in Paris, there are cafes or bistros for such dinner options. This is NOT acceptable at a restaurant where there are separate set lunch and dinner menus. By asking for a sandwich menu, I had indirectly offended the owner of the restaurant. The message I sent him was that his dinner menu was not appealing to me and I needed more options. His feelings on my disrespect towards the food he served were loud and clear. The message was received and humbly understood after taking time to settle down and not storm out of the place like a mad woman on a rampage. Once we all ordered a proper dinner, we were graciously relocated back to our lovely set table where we continued to receive excellent service as though nothing had happened.
Moral of the story? Educate yourself on the customs of the countries you visit if you expect to be treated with respect. Truth be told, we Americans are not the sun and the moon to these countries. If you step on their customs or values, they do not care who you are or where you came from, they will make you feel pretty foolish. French people are not the horrible, rude people many Americans give them the stereotype of being.
Many Americans would not have handled the situation I was in with an open mind to culture and learning. It is not our fault; we are just an extremely isolated country. Take into consideration how congested Europe is and how many cultures interact on a daily basis; many of these people speak two to four languages and English is a requirement everywhere. The bottom line: have an open mind, be patient, and put forth a strong effort to respect others and their backgrounds, both personal and cultural. If you do these things, your life will be more enjoyable and fulfilling. Paris is a magical city. Do not go in with a pre-determined notion of how the people are in a certain area. Take the time and effort to learn about them yourself. A little respect will take you very far in the world we live in.
