Another day, another dollar. Another week… another five dollars? Ignoring our poor excuse for an intro, it’s time for this week’s edition of…
Darts and Laurels
On Wednesday night, CNN hosted the second GOP debate. Even if you didn’t watch it, you certainly heard about it. Even as CNN helped to reduce an already inane event to even lower levels (shout out to Rand "Justice Never Sleeps" Paul for being strangely bold in his lack of self-awareness), there was one moment that stood out among the rest.
When it came time for the candidates to address cannabis legislation, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush admitted that forty years ago, he smoked marijuana.
"I’m sure that other people might have done it and may not want to say it in front of 25 million people," Bush said. "My mom’s not happy that I just did."
Bush’s brave revelation sent shockwaves throughout the nation; after all, this is the same man who penned a written statement to discourage Florida voters from voting in favor of last year’s medical marijuana amendment.
It took a lot for Bush to admit to being a total hypocrite on the national stage, and for that we give Bush a green, sticky-icky Laurel.
After Saturday’s mini-monsoon dissipated, Gainesville was lucky enough to be gifted with pleasant weather for a change.
This week has seen temperatures in the low to mid-70s, as well as a nice breeze that’s more than made up for whenever the temperature would creep back into the 80s.
It was nice to actually experience fall for a change, rather than continuing to deal with the staggering, unrelenting corpse of Florida summer humidity.
But all good things must come to an end, and unfortunately, nearly every night this week has been plagued with muggy, moist rainfall.
For raining on our parade, we award a Dart to weather fronts, jet streams and air masses for being selfish and thoughtless in how they go about their business as climate factors.
For the last week, the Internet has been abuzz with rumors that rappers Drake and Future would be releasing a collaborative mixtape, titled either "FBGOVO" or "Put It All In a Plastic Bag" depending on who you ask.
Drake, Future and their cohorts are more than aware of the rumors surrounding the project and have been content to string music fans along, tweeting cryptic references to the project and Instagramming photos with one another. There’s even a countdown timer on putitallinaplasticbag.com, which is set to expire at 11 p.m. tonight.
As of writing, no one has confirmed or denied the veracity of the timer.
Drake and Future simply can’t keep toying with our emotions like this; 2015 has already been an abundant year for hip-hop, and the tease of a collaboration between the two artists is simply too enticing for the world to just sit patiently and wonder exactly what is going on.
In the event that they drop an album this weekend and it’s a banger, Drake and Future get a purple, lean-dipped Laurel. If, however, this mythical mixtape proves to be just that, a myth, Drake and Future get a disappointed, mean-mugging Dart.