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Tuesday, April 30, 2024
<p>Florida football players huddle at practice at the Sanders Practice Field Aug. 31, 2015.</p>

Florida football players huddle at practice at the Sanders Practice Field Aug. 31, 2015.

A new football season, a new Florida head football coach, and most importantly, a new set of the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column.

The Jim McElwain era gets underway on Saturday under the lights at the Swamp against New Mexico State.

But more importantly, our annual set of game-picking and name-bashing returns at a whole new level.

Debating the first game of the week — tonight’s matchup between No. 4 Baylor and Southern Methodist University — is alligatorSports editor Graham Hall and Alligator managing/online editor Jordan McPherson.

Baylor (-36) will beat the Mustangs because...

Is this really a debate? Putting Baylor — one of the most explosive offenses in the country — up against a defense that gave up nearly 500 yards a game just last season? This is the perfect game for the Bears to ease quarterback Seth Russell into the starting role and allow tailback Shock Linwood to light up the Mustangs.

-Jordan McPherson

 

SMU (+36) will beat the Bears because...

OK, so Baylor has won the last 11 meetings between the two programs, but who cares? It’s a new season. Matt Davis, a former Texas A&M commit, will look to reboot a Mustangs offense that was abysmal in 2014. If Florida fans thought the Gators’ offense was bad, consider the fact that SMU scored a total of SIX passing touchdowns all of last season. There’s a lot of unknowns — new coach Chad Morris is a first-year head coach — but who knows if Baylor’s Seth Russell can replicate the success Bryce Petty had. I think SMU scores at least a pair of touchdowns and makes the Bears sweat a little bit.

-Graham Hall

 

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 Now onto the picks!

Leading the charge with the picks is alligatorSports editor Graham "Whoops" Hall, who watches women’s basketball to make himself feel good after realizing how pathetic he is at life. Hey Graham, why don’t you watch something more entertaining than a WNBA game? How about Chess?

Next up, is Luis "Golden Retriever fetish" Torres, who can’t stop showing the entire office pictures of Golden Retriever puppies. Hey Luis, the first 1,000 photos looked the same, let’s cool it and maybe do some work.

Joining the picks is alligatorSports staff writer Graham "What’s a deadline?" Hack, who takes upwards of six hours to write a 400-word sidebar. Hey Hack, live up to your last name and churn out a story.

The lone returner from the alligatorSports group is managing/online editor Jordan "Numbers savant" McPherson, who loves filling his articles with stats people ignore. People don’t read football stories to feel like they’re back in Algebra class, Jordan. They flock to read about bone-crunching tackles!

Returning after a five-year hiatus is former alligatorSports editor and current Palm Beach Post reporter Anthony "Miami wannabe" Chiang, who can’t introduce himself without lying about his birthplace. He’s from Kendall, a suburb in unincorporated Dade County. Just throw away your credentials and take the batteries out of your recorder, Anthony. The jig is up.

Returning for another third stint at the picks column is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar "Here’s the thing" Thompson, who seemingly begins every counter-argument with an absolute. Well, here’s the thing Edgar, Mark Long usually wins most of your guys’ arguments. And yes, we say that solely to anger you.

Gator Country’s Nick "Biogenesis" de la Torre returns after finishing second-to-last in 2014. How’d you get so big, Nick? Was it by lifting that ego out of bed every morning? What a tough workout.

And last but not least is 247sports.com’s Thomas "Gator Dater" Goldkamp, who let his latest Tinder match — UF mascot Alberta — make his picks for him this week. Swiping right never felt so good, did it Goldkamp?

Florida football players huddle at practice at the Sanders Practice Field Aug. 31, 2015.

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