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Monday, May 06, 2024

Getting back into the swing of things after a week off is usually extremely difficult. It’s hard to wake up for those 7:25 a.m. classes, pull all-nighters and eat Top Ramen after a week of sleeping in until noon, lounging by the pool or beach and eating home-cooked meals — that is, if you went home. 

It’s been arguably one of the longest weeks of the semester so far, at least for us here at the Alligator. But now that we’re back, it’s time for everyone’s favorite part of the week...

Darts & Laurels

  

Now for some sweet news, Ben & Jerry’s released three new core flavors. Get ready for Brownie Batter Core, Cookies & Cream Cheesecake Core and Coconuts for Caramel Core. 

So while you’re crying during ever-looming midterms or finals, watching Netflix and chilling (literally, because ice cream) or having a late-night snack, you’ve got three new flavors to choose from. Here’s a Laurel to Ben & Jerry’s for making the world a sweeter place.

There is currently a bill figuratively sitting on Gov. Rick Scott’s desk that should cause any proponent of a woman’s right to make decisions about her own body some substantial concern. 

The bill, SB 1722, proposes severe restrictions on abortion clinics, similar to those we’ve seen recently disputed in Texas and before the U.S. Supreme Court. In fact, the bill in Florida is extremely scary because, in the words of Planned Parenthood Federation of America President Cecile Richards, “Florida would, in one bill, do the damage it took Texas years to inflict on women.”

The bill would slash access to safe abortions in a thinly veiled attack on Planned Parenthood and other clinics. It proposes that government funding be unavailable to clinics that perform abortions outside of cases of rape, incest or severe bodily harm to the mother. It also stipulates that all abortion-performing doctors have admitting privileges at a hospital within a “reasonable proximity to the clinic,” which is absurdly vague. Perhaps the most ludicrous aspect of the bill is that it literally redefines the pregnancy trimesters put forth by actual doctors.

We’re giving a giant DART to this whole situation: an abomination of a bill designed to attack safe female health care providers, the fact that a man singlehandedly controls the degree to which millions of women can control their own bodies and the culture we live in that allows bills such as this one to exist.

On a more light-hearted note, Marvel released a new “Captain America: Civil War” trailer, and Marvel fans all about orgasmed as Spider-Man made an appearance in the trailer. 

While it’s totally awesome for Spider-Man to finally have a spot with the Avengers, it’s a bummer Hollywood has chosen yet another generic white male to play a superhero. With Andrew Garfield’s contract issues, a new Spider-Man had to be cast. 

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It was a missed opportunity to cast a more diverse character (the second Ultimate Spider-Man was originally black and Hispanic). So here goes a Laurel to Marvel for that enthralling trailer but also a Dart for the lack of diversity with Spider-Man.

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