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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Dear Mediocre,

I met a man a few months ago, and we’ve been dating for a while. Lately he’s been staying out more and getting home late. He’s always wondering where I am and what I’m doing. I assume he’s just lonely, but maybe I’m wrong. What do I do? How do I confront this?

- Naïve

Dear Naïve,

Wowza.

If castration was legal, that would be my advice to you. Not even kidding. Sounds like your man is either pulling extra hours at work or taking care of the wife and kids he’s got stashed on the side…

Any man that constantly wants to know what you’re doing is a rare gem that you should treasure. So what if he’s overbearing and sneaky? That’s the new sentiment. Clearly something sparked this attraction in the first place, so it is your job to keep the flame burning — no matter what.

Has he lost interest, or is he doing stuff on the low-low? Do yourself a favor and don’t even look into it. Join the rest of the world and close your eyes when you see things that make you doubt your man. Haven’t you seen the Facebook posts prompting women to cherish their “kings”? Hello? Cherish your king! A real partnership doesn’t ask questions, and it really doesn’t even require communication. That’s all a myth. And don’t let that quack-a-doodle psychologist, relationship coach or anyone else tell you otherwise. Ph.D.s are last-year, too.

Use all of that free time when your man isn’t around to think of new ways to please him. Learn how to cook. Keep the apartment super tidy. Sew up some new sexy lingerie. All of these things will pretty much ensure that you’ll keep the relationship alive! No matter how dead it currently seems!

Catch you later,

Mediocre

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