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Sunday, May 19, 2024

Dear Mediocre,

What’s the best way to get out of my comfort zone and meet new people?

Trust me when I say you are not alone. Right at this moment there are thousands of couch potatoes snuggled up with their beloved pets, watching Netflix and wishing they had the chill aspect to go with it.

The best way to shake the shyness is to put out an ad on Craigslist. It’s what everyone is doing these days. Go find the personal ads and write a long description of yourself. Divulge everything. You never know what potential friends are looking for. Make sure to add in your contact information so these new friends can call you as soon as they hear what an awesome person you are! Boom.

Lifelong BFFs,

Mediocre

Dear Mediocre,

What do I do if my BF wants to get married but doesn’t seem to care if I finish school?

You have two options here:

1. Marry him and don’t finish your education.

2. Don’t marry him and slay.

Good luck,

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Mediocre

Dear Mediocre,

What’s the best way to make it official?

This is a classic case of exclusivity. You want him to lay claim to you, but you’re not sure how to make that happen without sounding like a full-blown psychopath. Don’t worry, I have the perfect solution to your problem.

Make it Facebook official. I know it seems like a bold move, and maybe you should consult him first, but those are just your nerves talking. Just have a few glasses of wine and then take the plunge. He’ll definitely appreciate it — even if you’ve only been dating for a few weeks.

Next, start telling everyone you know, and I mean everyone. Your friends, teachers — the bouncers at the club. No ear is too small to hear all about your love. Trust me on this.

The third and final step is to start hinting around at long-term stuff, like marriage and children. Don’t be shy about it. There is a 99.9-percent chance he is probably wanting to bring it up as well — even if you’ve only been dating those few precious weeks. Don’t worry! In this day and age, everything is fast.

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