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Tuesday, April 23, 2024

One of the challenges for us in assigning current events with a dart or a laurel is the fact that there is just so much to talk about. Economies across the globe may be in recession, but we never seem to run short on our supply of ridiculousness. Experts are saying its market value is at an all-time high. So, with all of the ups and downs in recent world news, we’d like to bring you a more international segment: “Dartos y Laurel-schteinem?” We digress.

First stop: Brazil. Current president Dilma Rousseff faces impeachment and stark disdain from the general Brazilian public after facing investigations of bribery and allegations of budget malpractice. However, the problem with impeaching Rousseff is what might follow after her.

Next in line for the presidency is current vice president Michel Temer, a man so awash in corruption and unfavorability, he would never be able to assume the presidency in any other scenario. He gets an automatic dart. His approval rating is 2 percent, and 60 percent of Brazilians want to see him impeached from his vice presidency position, let alone take the helm of the country.

Across the Atlantic pond, the people of London have elected Sadiq Khan, their first Muslim mayor. This is a huge leap when considering sentiments of Islamophobia in the West and the refugee and migrant crisis in Europe. Now, at the end of the day, Khan is a politician before anything else. While he rhetorically distances himself from extreme Muslims in London, he has a history of working and allying with fanatics in order to, presumably, get votes and political support. His political opportunism across the Muslim community should not be dismissed.

Nonetheless, he is incredibly moderate and liberal in general political practice, and his positions, such as supporting LGBT+ rights, bode very well for the future. So we give a laurel to Khan and Londoners for what seems to be a step in a very good direction.

Finally, we land in the Philippines: your future spouse’s low-key favorite honeymoon spot. Rodrigo Duterte is set to be the new president, and unfortunately for Filipinos (and your future spouse), many are coining Duterte as the “Trump of the East.” The Philippines is home to rampant economic inequality and poverty, so many Filipinos want change and have turned to Duterte as a man of bold claims and swift action.

In his campaign, however, he’s made flippant and sexist comments about women and failed to deliver any kind of substantive platform. On law and order, he’s even said, “Forget the laws on human rights...you drug pushers and do-nothings better go out. Because I’d kill you.” At least says what’s on his mind, right? Obviously, a whole bag of darts is in order.

So, keep in mind, dear readers, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and often times, those fish live in countries with the same sorts of political problems as American fish. Only, they get by without as many Michael Bay movies and Starbucks gift cards.

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