Two historic programs in college football will meet once again along the Saint Johns River at TIAA Bank Field in Jacksonville, Oct. 28. The Florida Gators and the No. 1 Georgia Bulldogs have been playing this cross-state football rivalry game for more than 100 years.
Whenever these two teams play one another in any sport, it always becomes a must-see for the two respected fan bases.
However, what if it wasn’t the Gators against the Bulldogs? What if it was a gator against a bulldog?
As mascot battles are a common argument in the Southeastern Conference based on looks, we never talk about what they might look like on the field, court or out on the diamond. If you ever wondered about this going into gameday this article is for you.
Before we jump into the specifics of each sport, I must address what the matchup will be. For the bulldog, we’ll refer to it as Georgia’s current mascot UGA X; a wrinkled, squatted-down English bulldog with bundles of personality.
For the gator, we’ll use the average American male alligator. Weighing in at nearly half a ton, 11.2 feet long and with a heavy diet of anything alive and small, the gator will be called “Albert.”
Volleyball: bulldog
Volleyball is a game where six players are separated by a net, and the goal for each side is to ground the ball onto their opponent’s court. Now you may be wondering how an alligator or bulldog executes an underhand serve. Well, they don’t.
Instead, Albert will use his tail as if he’s defending himself from enemies to bat the ball over the net. This will be the only thing Albert can do as he is unable to spike or hit the ball. UGA X, on the other hand, is capable of doing this by jumping vertically into the air to receive the serve and loft it over the net.
The team of English bulldogs would win in sweeping fashion through three sets unless the American alligators were able to get 75 aces consecutively.
Swimming and diving: alligator
This should be a quick one. The average American male alligator can swim up to 20 mph, according to Fauna Facts. No human breaststroke can even match the capabilities of Albert in the water. Diving would be another story. The alligator would probably win in a Carnival Cruise Line belly-flop contest, though.
UGA X most likely is fighting for his life. The unathletic dog breed will paddle his stubby legs until exhaustion takes over and it would need to leave the pool with the help of a lifeguard.
Tennis: alligator
Knowing an alligator can use his tail for a backhand swing, Albert can pierce the ball at any angle on the court with ferocious speed. UGA X will be competitive at first, fetching the ball around in a frenzy, but then tucker out on the court due to his difficulties with breathing. By the second set, Albert would be serving to a sleeping dog.
Track and field: bulldog
The English bulldog is not built for long distance events. Its short legs and breath wouldn't allow itself to break 400m without a water break. An American alligator can run a consistent speed of 11 mph for about 100 feet. However, gators are considered to be pretty lazy creatures and often won’t exert more energy than needed, according to Surf Research.
So realistically, none of the animals would finish a race more than 1600m and be disqualified for taking too long. Short-distance races are the best time to see them in action.
A healthy English bulldog in suitable conditions can hit top speeds of 17 mph, according to the American Kennel Association. The fastest English bulldog ever recorded by the AKC reached 24.11 mph.
That means UGA X with these numbers is hypothetically faster than Albert. The English bulldog would take points in relays, short distance and be competitive in long distance with the American alligator.
Albert only has the field events to rely on.
Soccer: bulldog
Neither animal is capable of kicking a ball. This would mean that the only movement possible on offense would be based on who can roll the ball efficiently from one end of the pitch to the other.
The English bulldog is a house pet with experience dealing with balls such as tennis balls, footballs and soccer balls. With the advantage of experience, UGA X hypothetically is more comfortable controlling the ball and not popping it on his way to the net.
Albert would most likely be less coordinated and try to devour the ball.
Lacrosse: bulldog
An American alligator’s bite force is one of the strongest in the animal kingdom. With more than 2,000 pounds per square inch, Albert can snap just about anything in half — including a lacrosse stick.
UGA X, on the other hand, is capable of holding on a lacrosse stick with his mouth and keeping the ball in the pocket of the stick. Albert has no chance of scoring any points and would have to rely on his defense to win.
Unfortunately, defense doesn’t score goals in the game of lacrosse.
Gymnastics: alligator
An American alligator can jump up to six feet vertically in the air straight out of the water and onto land, according to Untamed Animals. With this power and ability to land horizontally after jumping such a height means Albert can get on a balance beam, which is 4.1 feet above the ground. UGA X can only clear three feet and never make it onto the beam.
In the floor event, the American alligator and English bulldog can do a lot of similar stunts to impress the judges. Rolls, flips and twirls would be the main course of their routine. However, the Death Roll of the American Alligator is lethal to all opponents and in this case, would be a spectacle to see in person.
Softball and Baseball: bulldog
Similar to lacrosse, the American alligator would most likely break more bats than hits in a game. The English Bulldog, in contrast, can swing a bat in his mouth, run at top speeds straight along the diamond and defensively can catch fly balls in the outfield better than an average American alligator.
Albert stands no chance either on the mound. American alligators can’t throw baseballs with their mouths, while a dog is able to move a ball by rolling it with their nose.
Basketball: bulldog
Have you seen Air Bud recently?
Like the golden retriever in the movie, dogs can surprisingly shoot the basketball with accuracy with the help of their owners. This gives UGA X an advantage as his team of English bulldogs can bite onto the basketball, toss it into the air and alley-oop it to one another until they score a basket.
Of course, this may not be the most efficient shooting form, but it’ll get the job done in terms of ball movement and getting shots up on the floor.
Albert, the American alligator, rarely jumps vertically toward prey. Gators are more commonly lunging at their opponents, meaning that Albert might commit an offensive foul more often than former New York Knicks forward Charles Oakley does in a game.
The final score would not be pretty. Bulldogs by 20.
Football: alligator
The American alligator has tough, scaly skin that can cause difficulty for any dog to grab a hold on to them as they run to the endzone. The English bulldog, with its experience of playing with balls in the house, probably knows more about how to secure the ball and is familiar with the game watching the TV every Sunday beside its owner and also participating in the Puppy Bowl.
The game itself would put the annual Army vs. Navy game to shame. Each side will rely heavily on their run scheme to score touchdowns. The only thing that can save them is defense.
For Albert, his skin and muscle mass compared to the UGA X gives him the advantage. Ideally, a gator can take down any form of bulldog. Hypothetically, let's say the American alligator in question understands good sportsmanship and won’t attempt to eat UGA X.
This means Albert is the only animal on the field that can tackle. Meaning that there won’t be any fourth-down stands anytime for UGA X. The American alligator could possibly shut out the English bulldogs.
In terms of the actual human game Oct. 28? We will have to see.
Contact Brandon Hernandez at bhernandez@alligator.org. Follow him on X @BranH2001.
Brandon Hernandez is currently the enterprise sports writer and sports podcast host for The Independent Alligator. He likes long walks on the sidewalk and watching basketball tape in his off time. You can find most of his work @BranH2001 on X and on The Courtside Podcast on Spotify.
