I’ve been hearing a lot of discussion about nice guys and friendzones lately. It’s not like either are new concepts: the guy who can’t get a girl even though he is “such a nice guy” and the guy who has feelings for his friend, but she doesn’t feel the same way toward him. This can go the other way, of course, with nice girls being friend zoned, but you definitely won’t see it as often on the Internet.
Just ask the meme Friend Zone Fiona, who will tell you she loves you but isn’t “in love” with you.
I’m glad both ideas are trending out in the open nowadays because now it’s fair game for discussion. Although the memes are hilarious, it’s important to not let anyone wallow in self-pity because that’s where something that’s sympathetic and funny gets ugly and resentful.
Both men and women came forward to argue that just because you are nice to a girl doesn’t make her obligated to like you back. Sitting in your current situation and whining about only being a friend isn’t doing either of you any good. Either make a move to ask her out, or accept the situation for what it is and move on.
Of course, that’s always easier said than done, so I’m not expecting to see a decline in friend zone complaints for a while.
But it got me thinking why most friendzone and nice-guy complaints are from men. Well, probably for numerous reasons, including that it’s considered more normal for the guy to have to summon his courage to ask the girl on a date, not the other way around, and that forum sites like Reddit and 4chan have mostly males users, so both of these things already skew the grievances to come from one direction.
I also had another idea.
I figure that if people have already hypothesized about women’s dating preferences enough to create ladder theory and apply game theory, then I’m entitled to a theory. I call mine “Adam Sandler Syndrome.”
In early Adam Sandler movies like “Billy Madison,” “Happy Gilmore” and “The Waterboy,” you can expect that although Sandler’s character is not particularly handsome, charming, quick-witted and even borders on mild mental retardation, he will always end up with the attractive female love interest by the end.
Why? Because the audience knows that although Sandler’s character may not have much mental prowess, he has a good heart, and he ultimately deserves the girl as the storyline underdog.
No new information here. It’s the same for a lot of cheap-thrill comedies.
There isn’t really a movie equivalent for women. I actually sat here for a while trying to think of an equivalent situation, and what I thought of was a situation where the character Fat Amy from “Pitch Perfect” got Channing Tatum by the end of a movie.
Haven’t seen it yet.
Or at least if it exists, the critics would consider it wildly avant-garde and groundbreaking.
So maybe Average-Joe-always-scores-the-hottie sets up a false expectation for men to believe that, barring all other factors, they deserve to get a woman because they are nice guys with good hearts. And not just any woman, but specifically the woman they choose to pursue.
Of course, in Adam Sandler movies, he somehow ends up being the least scummy guy in the plot, so he wins the nice-guy award by default.
In reality, there are so many nice guys that it’s impossible everyone gets what they want.
When women and men complain about being friend zoned even though they are such nice people, tell them that’s life and to keep moving forward.
Or tell them to be born again as Channing Tatum in their next lives, because I bet he never has any of these problems.
Lauren Flannery is a business administration sophomore at UF. Her column runs on Tuesdays. You can contact her via opinions@alligator.org.
