Shmanksgiving
It's almost Thanksgiving, and most people can't shut up about how excited they are.
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It's almost Thanksgiving, and most people can't shut up about how excited they are.
We love to see society bend to the whims of technology.
As we enter the holiday season, we have to figure out how we're going to beat the recession so we can dish out the wrapped goods when the time comes. Even though most of our wallets look thinner than Calista Flockhart, the most wonderful time of the year shouldn't lose its title because the times are financially tough.
First, we will take issue with something very dear to UF students: football tickets.
Another Student Senate meeting, another editorial. We're starting to establish a pattern.
Smokey the Bear's mortal enemy is no longer going to be homeless. He's going to prison.
In our freshman days, when Maui Teriyaki wasn't 20 minutes away from campus, Sloppy Gator was still alive and the football team battled for a chance at the Outback Bowl (ha!), there was nothing we hated more about dorm life than doing laundry.
Right now, the economy is the 10-year-old jerk who lived across the street that ruined every neighborhood game because of his bad attitude.
Theoretically, democracy involves compromise. Without it, democracy would shrivel under the weight of narrow-minded decisions cast by a single party super-majority.
Ticketmaster may very well be the worst misnomer this side of "Big Ten football." They've mastered nothing.
If you've ever seen the 2003 film "Something's Gotta Give" featuring aging stars Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton, then you know firsthand the horrors and possible pitfalls of over-the-hill intimacy. In one of the movie's opening scenes, Nicholson's character has a heart attack as he is putting the moves on a disturbingly younger woman.
By now, we think it's safe to assume Gainesville touts a fairly left-wing point of view. The area's liberal tendency is especially obvious on UF's campus, where protests are as common as man-crushes on Percy Harvin.
What better way to kick off a weekend featuring a game against South Carolina than to tackle a program being instated because of the caliber of our opponent? First, we're going to give a we-care-that-you-care LAUREL to UF First Lady Chris Machen and her safety program Gator Watch. If you haven't heard about it already, this program starts this weekend and is meant to prevent UF students from getting caught up in drunken trouble. No, the administration isn't pegging us all as drunkards; they just want to make sure that we go about our game day business free of trips to the Shands at UF emergency room.
As the U.S. creeps closer to the beginning of President-elect Barack Obama's first days in office, the optimism toward the Illinois senator remains constant.
If you thought UF's problems with technology began and ended with the unreliable ISIS system and the always-crashing UF WebMail, you thought wrong.
No one likes to hear stories about drunken driving, drunken fighting or getting caught drunkenly relieving yourself on a wall outside a bar. We don't like these stories because they always end with some form of the meaningless slogan "Drink Responsibly."
With a historic election having just ended and Thanksgiving just a few weeks away, it's easy to forget about that other holiday.
You've got to love the cowardice that comes with increased technology. We know we do.
Remember "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey"? The movie told the tale of two dogs and a cat who got separated from their owners and were forced to trek through the wilderness to get back home. They fought porcupines, fat animal control employees and - worst of all - random holes in the ground. In true family movie fashion, the trio overcame all the obstacles to make it back to their family.
First, we would like to pat ourselves on the back by giving UF a thanks-for-saving-us-money-now-and-making-us-money-later LAUREL for being ranked No. 2 on Kiplinger's list of the 100 best values in public universities.