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Sunday, March 22, 2026

Opinion: Editorials

Florida Alligator
Opinion

Darts & Laurels

It’s not only the end of the week here at the Alligator, but the end of one great semester. We laughed, we cried... we got called names, and we cried some more (Well, a few made us laugh). But the saddest part of all is having to say goodbye.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Re: Rights: Accuracy can prevent trivial technicalities

“You have the right — in your anxious and confused state — to try to figure out what rights you may or may not have by deciphering the ambiguous statement I am currently reading in a robot-like voice — as if my true intentions are not to inform you of anything, but rather to show my disdain for civil liberties and humanity in general.”


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Darts & Laurels

So you’re finally ready to dump all the knowledge you (hopefully) absorbed over the semester in a cathartic flurry of finals, term papers and unnecessarily harsh “Rate My Professors” rants?


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Darts & Laurels

The mass turkey exodus seems to begin earlier each year. Judging by the surprisingly low volume of angry letters in our inbox Tuesday, it looks like most of our faithfully vengeful readers have already flown the coop. We feel abandoned. Because campus is quiet enough to hear our hearts break at this shortage of students to enrage, we’re happy to present you with a we’ll-have-to-be-twice-as-offensive-to-make-up-for-the-difference edition of...


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Darts & Laurels

Last week was unusually slow for the Department of Darts and Laurels. In light of this, we made a (desperate?) plea for Gators to go out and make some real news. While we doubt that the overwhelming response was due entirely to the public pity party we held for ourselves last week, we think it helped. So now, inundated with news, we would like to present you with a be-careful-what-you-wish-for edition of:



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