“The manner in which burning is executed is as follows: He who had been thus condemned was lowered into dung up to his armpits, then a hard cloth was placed within a soft one, wound round his neck, and the two loose ends pulled in opposite directions, forcing him to open his mouth. A wick was then lit, and thrown into his mouth, so that it descended into his body and burnt his bowels.”
Avoiding the financial summertime blues
On Friday, July 15, UF Student Government released a video via Facebook enthusiastically announcing an upcoming expansion to the Hub’s Chick-fil-A location. Under a cheery guise of “Moving Gators Forward,” SG seemed excited about the new breakfast options. As stated in the video’s caption, “Starting next year, UF students can finally ask, ‘Chick-n-Minis or Chicken Biscuit?’”
In this edition of the Alligator Awards, we debate which male athlete was the best of the 2015-16 season. Sports writers Ray Boone, Matt Brannon and Alejandro López join alligatorSports Editors Ian Cohen and Ethan Bauer in a roundtable discussion to debate the five nominees. Debates will go in alphabetical order by the writer’s last name.
“Most people think/Great God will come from the skies/Take away everything/And make everybody feel high. But if you know what life is worth/You will look for yours on earth: And now you see the light/You stand up for your rights. Jah!” — To quote the late great former singer of the Wailers and beloved symbol of weed and reggae himself. There’s a lot of wrong in these times we live in. Our country needs healing — and not the kind where we stop at hoping and praying for the best. Far too long we’ve been complacent in the red. Now, in the spirit of completely abrupt and random transitions…
We are about to hit the apex of the Summer semester. That means a lot of studying and stress the further we dwell into July. Of course, for any males in decent shape and more than 6 feet tall, there is a tempting alternative to compete with countless of hours of studying. They could drop their books right now, head to the gym and start practicing their jump shots. The NBA is calling their names.
“Swiss Army Man” is a multipurpose movie, meaning something different to each viewer. To me, it was a message about not wasting your life by living in fear. To my mom, it was a message about the importance of speaking up. And to my dad, it was a suggestion to let out his farts more frequently.
In this edition of the Alligator Awards, we debate which female athlete was the best of the 2015-16 season. Sports writers Ray Boone, Matt Brannon and Alejandro López join alligatorSports Editors Ian Cohen and Ethan Bauer in a roundtable discussion to debate the five nominees. Debates will go in alphabetical order by the writer’s last name.
This past week’s trauma is no secret.
China may have invented fireworks more than 2,000 years ago, but fireworks have been linked to America since the birth of this country. In a letter to Abigail Adams on July 3, 1776, John Adams wrote that the signing of the Declaration of Independence should be celebrated with “... Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.” While fireworks were once championed by a future president and first lady, they are now advocated by Joe Dirts with butane lighters.
To those of you who are not familiar with Bob Ross, stop reading this column and immediately turn on your computer and watch one episode of “Beauty is Everywhere” on Netflix.
Some of you have reached out to the Alligator asking our position on the recent Supreme Court ruling.
President Susan Webster has brought back business as usual to Student Government. Like many of you, I was quite alarmed at hearing online voting was dismantled by Webster and her UF Supreme Court. Sadly, I wasn’t surprised.
So much news has happened. We can’t get to everything, but we’ll touch on a lesser-known thing and then a something-that-should-be-discussed-more thing.
For the last six months, I have been studying intensively for the LSAT, or the Law School Admission Test. Between logic classes, practice exams and nightly research on what fields other than law in which a philosophy major can find a career, I found refuge where I had always found it: Cleveland sports. My family is from Cleveland. Whenever I would go there, my uncle and I would go to various sporting events. Some of my most cherished memories include watching the Cleveland Indians lose, watching the Cavaliers lose and watching the Browns lose.
You do what? Isn't it bloody? How do you clean it?
The Summer-sports lull is here, but most importantly, the NBA season is over, leaving avid basketball fans grasping and clinging at whatever small sliver of sports gossip falls through the July news wires. With NBA teams officially allowed to begin wooing free agents at 12:01 a.m. on Friday, here’s a few observations ahead of the impending NBA offseason.
So, here we are, dear readers: the end of June. For those of you experiencing your first few days here at UF, we at the Alligator would like to welcome you. And for those returning for Summer C, sorry break was only a week. We realize our opinions editor failed to greet you all warmly and probably frightened you a bit Tuesday by jumping straight into a bleak look at the political scene… Damn it, David… you had one job. Anyway, in the words of The Black Eyed Beans — or whatever they’re called — “Let’s get it started (ha).”
Solutions by The State News
