For about a half-dozen Saturdays every fall, Gainesville becomes a carnival of orange and blue.
Welcome to Gainesville, home of the University of Florida and Santa Fe College at the heart of The Gator Nation.
So much about today is new.
If there is one thing we, as a nation, need to start picking on, it's homeless shelters.
So this Tuesday, in either a stroke of ingenuity or a subconscious desire to get more people to verbally pummel me, I announced to the swarms of Alligator fans that they could use the last paper of the summer to ask whatever their heart desired. Here were some of the gems
Do you remember just a couple of months or years ago when you were preparing for this new, magical period of your wonderful life?
We all know that one guy who, no matter how you slice it, is just incapable of flexing his cool muscles.
Oh God, We're not tops in partying! Get over it.
"Mike, join me in a pint of Guinness."
A few days ago, I went to a McDonald's. My girlfriend and I ordered two sandwiches. The women at the window seemed, shall we say, less than thrilled to be working there.
"The only thing dumber than a Republican or Democrat is when these pricks work together," Lewis Black once rambled in one of his acerbic comedic whippings of American society. He said, "We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas. And the way it works is the Republican stands up in Congress and goes, ‘I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!' and the Democrat says, ‘AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!'"
We're going to try something different Thursday.
The news these past couple of days has been an embarrassment to American politics.
With all the utter stupidity and assclown-ity that has been allowed to run rampant in this town and university, let alone this country, it's incredibly easy to become jaded toward the Big Guy Upstairs. He's probably not that enthused either when he has to explain to other celestial beings that yes - He has to take credit for all his children, including the deadbeat ones who use emoticons in their everyday speech, wear Ed Hardy and actually think George Lopez is funny.
In the next few days, a good number of you will be fully immersed in one of the greatest pains in the backside known to man as you fire up your U-Hauls, break out the boxes and load up your arms with as much stuff as possible as you bid your apartments/houses/glorified shitholes farewell.
Call it the end result of advertising bombing raids, product placements, logos, mottos, catchlines or an unholy alliance of all these things, but we as Americans have a never-ending hard-on for labeling things. Especially things that have no business being labeled. It doesn't matter if it's Coca-Cola or Grandpa's coke, we can find a way to slap a tag, banner or any overarching gimmick on anything to generate a quick buck or a web hit.
What a busy week!
If you live in the United States, then you've become accustomed to the logic-be-damned attempts to malign politicians and public policy through the use of fear and hate.
Sometimes we're mortified by our own kind. Today is one of those days.
Gator Growl got it right this time.
Solutions by The State News
