Sometime last week in between the earth-shattering news that Michael Jackson, the OxiClean pitchman and Farrah Fawcett had all actually died within the same cosmic time frame, two significant news items went largely unnoticed.
If resigning from a post like governor of Alaska is hailed as a potentially "brilliant strategy" for a career, the Editorial Board might as well consider Sarah Palin the Geri Halliwell of the political world - Gubernatorial Spice, if you will. Not as catchy as "Killa from Wasilla," but we've gotta keep it current.
The Editorial Board would like to make note of the political crisis in Honduras, an event upsetting the lives of millions of the country's citizens.
So if any of you are like me, you're probably an incredibly lazy person. And I don't mean ordinary, run-of the-mill lazy - I mean you elevate it to an art form. There's nothing wrong with laziness, by the way, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Laziness - the desire to exert the least possible effort - has given rise to our most wonderful human ingenuities. If someone hadn't been too lazy to walk, we probably wouldn't have cars. If someone hadn't been too lazy to try and make a genuine connection with a woman, we probably wouldn't have such brilliant pick up lines as "Was your dad a baker, because your buns are out of this world!" The bottom line is that laziness keeps us sharp. Because of it we are ever-vigilant for the next thing that will make our lives easier and, in our own twisted way, richer.
For most Americans, the Fourth of July is a day for fireworks, concerts, parades and all manner of patriotic displays. It's as American as barbecue ribs and apple pie.
There are those rare moments that, in one fell swoop, remind us all of the ephemerality and fragility of life and, generally speaking, those moments come after a loss. We have all just experienced one of those moments - only this time it dragged on for days. In the span of one week, we lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. All of them American icons and, now, all of them gone.
The House recently passed the American Clean Energy and Security Act (ACES), an important step toward protecting our environment and building a clean energy economy.
I know Gainesville is a football town. I know people will be tailgating on campus long before Vince Carter makes his debut with the Orlando Magic. And I know my favorite pro sports league has trailed the NFL in popularity for a while now.
Although we currently lack an Opinions Editor, the Editorial Board is still chock-a-block with opinions. As we prepare to celebrate National Let's Light Shit On Fire Day, let us all remember to exercise caution when launching a Roman candle at the feet of our drunkest friend. We hear the emergency room waits on July 4 are more painful than the burns. Plus, no one likes losing digits. Without further adieu, the Editorial Board presents Darts & Laurels.
By the time you read this, you will have only around 12 hours to fix a terrible injustice.
Just like the Corleones and the Tattaglias.
It's that time of the year again.
Students returning to Gainesville for Summer B classes may notice something missing from outside the Fine Arts building: Art.
For lying to his constituency and for losing all credibility over his affair with a woman in South America, the Editorial Board would like to call for the resignation of Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina.
Like a bad version of "The Blair Witch Project," amateur video of riots and protests in Iran fill CNN's airwaves. Covering the turmoil in Iran has become en vogue, and publicly declaring one's alignment with Mir-Hossein Mousavi, the emblematic opposition candidate who lost in the last Iranian rigged election three weeks ago, has become as culturally trendy for some as a Free Tibet bumper sticker.
One of the biggest factors in sports will never show up on a stat sheet.
With the unforgiving humidity of a Gainesville summer sucking the life out of you like a disgruntled ex-boyfriend, the Department of Darts & Laurels encourages you to relax and crack open an ice-cold Zima.
I went to the NBA Finals in Orlando this past weekend, and a fistfight almost erupted in my section after a group of rowdy, young Magic fans bombarded the Lakers fans in front of me with an endless chant of "LA sucks!" First of all, Orlando fans, people who live in prefab, cookie-cutter houses, should not throw stones. But more importantly, where on earth do you get the idea that your basketball team being up 10 points has anything to do with your city being any better than anyone else's?
The NBA Draft used to be like a holiday to me.
Solutions by The State News
