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Saturday, March 28, 2026

Opinion

Florida Alligator
Opinion

Web site offers tips for lazy folks

So if any of you are like me, you're probably an incredibly lazy person. And I don't mean ordinary, run-of the-mill lazy - I mean you elevate it to an art form. There's nothing wrong with laziness, by the way, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Laziness - the desire to exert the least possible effort - has given rise to our most wonderful human ingenuities. If someone hadn't been too lazy to walk, we probably wouldn't have cars. If someone hadn't been too lazy to try and make a genuine connection with a woman, we probably wouldn't have such brilliant pick up lines as "Was your dad a baker, because your buns are out of this world!" The bottom line is that laziness keeps us sharp. Because of it we are ever-vigilant for the next thing that will make our lives easier and, in our own twisted way, richer.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Dead celebrities don’t cease to charm

There are those rare moments that, in one fell swoop, remind us all of the ephemerality and fragility of life and, generally speaking, those moments come after a loss. We have all just experienced one of those moments - only this time it dragged on for days. In the span of one week, we lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. All of them American icons and, now, all of them gone.


Florida Alligator
Sports

NBA off-season best of its kind

I know Gainesville is a football town. I know people will be tailgating on campus long before Vince Carter makes his debut with the Orlando Magic. And I know my favorite pro sports league has trailed the NFL in popularity for a while now.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Darts & Laurels

Although we currently lack an Opinions Editor, the Editorial Board is still chock-a-block with opinions. As we prepare to celebrate National Let's Light Shit On Fire Day, let us all remember to exercise caution when launching a Roman candle at the feet of our drunkest friend. We hear the emergency room waits on July 4 are more painful than the burns. Plus, no one likes losing digits. Without further adieu, the Editorial Board presents Darts & Laurels.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Media outlets focus too much on Iran

Like a bad version of "The Blair Witch Project," amateur video of riots and protests in Iran fill CNN's airwaves. Covering the turmoil in Iran has become en vogue, and publicly declaring one's alignment with Mir-Hossein Mousavi, the emblematic opposition candidate who lost in the last Iranian rigged election three weeks ago, has become as culturally trendy for some as a Free Tibet bumper sticker.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Darts & Laurels

With the unforgiving humidity of a Gainesville summer sucking the life out of you like a disgruntled ex-boyfriend, the Department of Darts & Laurels encourages you to relax and crack open an ice-cold Zima.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Fans need to keep themselves in check

I went to the NBA Finals in Orlando this past weekend, and a fistfight almost erupted in my section after a group of rowdy, young Magic fans bombarded the Lakers fans in front of me with an endless chant of "LA sucks!" First of all, Orlando fans, people who live in prefab, cookie-cutter houses, should not throw stones. But more importantly, where on earth do you get the idea that your basketball team being up 10 points has anything to do with your city being any better than anyone else's?



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