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Thursday, November 30, 2023

UF is bursting at the seams with new opportunities for every type of student. There is a colorful cornucopia of clubs to join, an endless sea of parties to crash, a large number of athletic-based activities to avoid and a ginormous stack of coupons to treasure - all of which are great if you are a fearless person who isn?t afraid to fall flat on your face diving for a Frisbee.

But what is to become of the shy students like me who are intimidated by the infinite number of things to do around campus? Well, it sucks to be us.

All of these thrilling choices make me sometimes wish that I had gone to some boring, private Amish college in the mountains of some forgotten state like Iowa (does Iowa even have mountains?), because then there would be less excitement - unless, of course, you enjoy things like making your own butter. It takes a lot of careful thought and determination for a shy, indecisive person like me to come out of cave dwelling and contribute to the advancement of civilization, so it makes me proud to announce that I have made the pivotal decision to get more involved in student activities this year.

The only problem is that there are so damn many that I don?t even know where to begin.

Well, I guess the best way to spark a social life with something other than stuffed animals is to review all of the available opportunities for student involvement. Because this can potentially take days, I thought it better to take it one step at a time, beginning with the list of clubs so long it gives those annoying BStar WarsC credits a run for their money. Upon browsing the list on the UF Web site, I can immediately rule out all clubs that don?t involve my major. Fortunately for me, I have decided to steer clear of all math- and science-related organizations because, to be honest, I still count with my fingers, and I can never remember how photosynthesis works. But even after careful elimination and the system I devised for the important task of club-shopping, I am still left with a number of possible interests that rivals the number of my grandmother?s age.

What do I do now? Maybe I?ll try another route.

I could possibly join some sort of club sport like swimming or water polo, but athletes scare me, and I doubt I could keep up with the necessary physical endurance to actually keep afloat.

I could even join some religious group because there?s no shortage of those around campus. But let?s face it - they scare me more than the athletes do.

Maybe I?ll take matters into my own hands and start my own organization for people who can?t decide how to spend their four years of pre-real world bliss. In the meantime, though, I?ll just have to keep searching for my golden opportunity to develop a niche in this enormous university, with all of its varied possibilities.

Colleen Shea is a freshman majoring in journalism.

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